Across the nation, with Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, churches are planning singles events. A potpourri of awesomeness wrapped in a tortilla shell of awkwardness, these events are almost too wondrous to behold. Though it’s been a few years I can still recall my last one.

I got stuck in the closet. Unlike R. Kelly, I was just trying to get my coat. Suddenly, a guy from another church blocked the doorway, effectively preventing me from leaving. I could still hear “safe enough for church” slow dance music playing in the background. Things looked dire, but fortunately, much like Kim Possible, I have a grab bag of karate moves and was able to back flip my way out of there.

But what about you, what happens if you’re single and you get stuck at an awkward singles event? How do you avoid going one? How do you recognize what might be awkward? Just look for the following signs:

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One of the most popular Stuff Christians Like posts of all time was #550. Surviving church as a single. But recently, a friend who is single came to town for the holidays and I realized I had missed whole chunks of awkwardness in describing the bottomless joy that is “Being single during Christmas at church.”

So instead of simply remixing an old post, I decided to create a holiday-focused scorecard. Think of it like a seasonal ale they put nutmeg in during January. It only comes around this time of year. Without further ado, I give you:

Being single during Christmas at church:

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