(It’s guest post week at SCL since my wife and I are in Vietnam!  Here’s a new one from Gyasi Byng.  If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)

Christian Video Games. By – Gyasi Byng

I spent a good part of my childhood learning the nuances of Super Smash Brothers and Mario Kart, but could you imagine how holy I would be now if those hours had been spent playing The Ten Commandants on Nintendo 64? I’m pretty sure that I would be a Super Christian able to see through the world’s lies and leap temptation in a single verse.

Because I may some day have kids that may be gamers just like their mother, here’s my list of 7 Christian video games I would like to see in the future. (more…)

(It’s guest post week at SCL since my wife and I are in Vietnam!  Here’s a new one from Lyndsay Rush, a Freelance Writer/Storyteller.  If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)

Christian Pickup Lines. – By Lyndsay Rush

Oh, dating.

It’s beautiful, really: Boy meets girl, boy woos girl, girl falls for boy. Wedding. Babies. Bliss.

Or, if you’re a Christian, it may go a little more like this: boy meets girl, boy hangs in groups with girl, girl falls in love, boy sends a text message, girl reads dating book, boy eats pizza, girl writes journal entries to her future husband, boy checks out the new Liam Neeson film, girl asks for prayer from her small group.

And on goes the love story. Clearly we Christians have really got this whole thing on lock, right?

If you’re starting to doubt our dating prowess, think again. Don’t discount that we’ve created an entire lexicon of our own words for it. We drop ‘pursue’ and ‘intention’ bombs to describe it, we have graphs and charts and Venn diagrams to track it; we have promise rings to commemorate it.

And try as we may to french kiss it goodbye, it’s not going anywhere. So in the meantime let’s focus on the magical thing that happens before the love story; the thing even the best books, E-harmony commercials, or Women’s Conferences can’t teach us. That’s right: the Christian pickup line.

Didn’t know it was a ‘thing’? That’s probably because it’s that subtle and powerful. And while in the past I’ve discussed such hot topics as parenting, and, oh, dating, it’s time we focus on the real issue: hitting on strangers who share your beliefs (I’m ever the hard-hitting investigative journalist).

So without further ado, here is a list of Christian Pickup Lines: Use wisely. Or, more aptly, please, please do not use these at all.

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(It’s guest post week at SCL since Jon is in Vietnam! Here’s a new one from Callie Dean, a musician and youth minister in Shreveport, Louisiana.  If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)

Developing a Noah Complex. -By Callie Dean

Down here in Louisiana, we had a massive drought all summer long. The water level of our local lakes and rivers was at a record low, while the temperature reached highs of 100-plus degrees.

But all of this changed a few weeks ago. The clouds darkened, the wind howled, and little drops of water began falling from the sky. This lasted for at least half an hour, and our city amassed nearly an inch of rain.

That night, I arrived at church for our midweek worship service. Guess what our Scripture was?

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(It’s guest post week at SCL since my wife and I are in Vietnam!  Today’s post is from Elizabeth Hyndman, an Administrative Assistant and grad student living in Nashville, TN.  She blogs at edyndman.com and tweets @edhyndman. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)

Siri is the new church secretary. By Elizabeth Hyndman

I’m sure you’ve heard all about Siri, the new virtual assistant that comes with the iPhone 4s. She answers questions, researches things, schedules stuff, and even calls and texts people for you. Amazing, right?

It is amazing, but even more amazing is that I’m pretty sure Apple stole this idea from Christians. Christians have had this kind of know-it-all assistant for a while now. We call them church secretaries or “the most powerful person in church.”

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(It’s guest post week at SCL since my wife and I are in Vietnam!  I’ve asked writer/blogger/friend Jeff Goins to guest host Stuff Christians Like until we get back. For the next week we’ll have guest posts from some incredibly funny people and then new SCL will return on Monday, November 28. If you want to guest post, here’s how.)

Buying tacky souvenirs on a mission trip. By Jeff Goins

On every mission trip, there’s always “That Guy.” You know him. He wears all the inappropriate apparel-wear you were strictly forbidden to bring. He sports all his favorite teams’ jerseys and ball caps and high-fives everyone in sight.

That Guy makes inappropriate cultural references that would get you speared in the wrong company. He has a Spanish dictionary in his backpack and knows just enough of the native tongue to get you into trouble with local authorities.

Yeah, That Guy. With a capital “G.” (He deserves a proper noun, since we all know him so well.)

Then, just when things get really bad, the worst part comes. The moment you’ve been dreading since the plane left American soil finally arrives.

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A church I used to attend wanted to encourage you to turn your cell phone off during the service. But because they were smart, they didn’t say that. Instead, they had a slide shown before church that said:

“Please remember to turn your cell phone back on after church.”

See what they did there? Back when I was a 1920s pugilist, we called that the “ole rope a dope.” They weren’t really concerned that you turn it back on after church.

They were saying, “Turn your phone off before church.” Or more specifically, “Please don’t have your ‘Cee-Lo Green ‘Forget You’ personalized ring tone burst to life during the middle of communion.’”

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Update

Here’s the most popular reaction to the post, as voted on by readers:

“Ok. I am a girl with a past that took me a long time to get over and I thought this was funny. It does a good job of calling out how we humans can twist things. Thank you, Jesus for your grace and love. Bottom line.”

But, at the same time there were some comments that thought the post wasn’t funny or kind or on target. Some people said, “Worst post ever.” Some of the people who didn’t like it made some great points in expressing their opinions of the post.

As varied as the opinions were, there was one thing I wanted to address. I don’t ever want people with a past to feel judged on SCL. Boys, Girls, Men, Women, anyone. From the get go, I’ve tried to be hyper honest about my own past. Serious Wednesdays are like a hit list of my worst mistakes.

Whether you loved or hated this post, if you’ve got a past, I’m sorry if it seemed like this post was picking on it. My past is too big to point a finger at somebody else’s.  

(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s a new one from SCL favorite John Crist.  If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!) 

Quick note from me, Jon Acuff.

5 reasons I posted this guest post.

1. It fit the goal of the Stuff Christians Like site.
The goal is to clear away the clutter of Christianity so that we can see the beauty of Christ. Trying to date “girls with a past” is a cluttered idea that needs to be discussed and cleared away.

2. It fits the goal of satire.
The goal of satire is to exaggerate an issue until it’s large enough for all of us to see it and discuss it. Satire takes an issue and makes it into a huge mirror so that we can all look at the reflection together and say, “Seriously, is that what we think good dating looks like? Are we OK with this way of thinking? If not, what are we going to do about it?”

3. It’s true.
I hope this post is ridiculous to you and you think, “I’ve never heard of something so stupid, who thinks like that? That can’t be real.” But it is. I’ve heard countless guys say versions of this post.

4. It points out a problem in a certain gender … men.
The post is about the foolishness of men. Men who think this way, men who make dating decisions this way, men who are dumb. I better get some angry comments from men, because that’s who this post is about.

5. It needed to be called out.
I didn’t marry a wife with the stereotypical past described below. I’m trying my best as a dad to raise daughters who leave the house so full of love and value that when the world bumps them they will not empty and chase things that will hurt them. And so the chance to call out a line of thinking that is opposite of that was important to me.

Stuff Christians (Guys) Like: Girls that Have a Past -by John Crist

There are a lot of girls at my church. They come in all colors, shapes, sizes and feathered hair accessories (is the feather thing just in Colorado, or is it everywhere?). Anyway, I always find myself being attracted to the girls who have a past, a testimony if you will.

DISCLAIMER: We all came to Jesus in different ways. We ALL have a past. It’s just that, as Christians, we’ve deemed some pasts as cooler than others.

Again, SCL doesn’t make the Christian rules, we just bring them to light. Today is no different.

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(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one from Shelle Lenssen- a wife, mom, and full-time laboratory geek.  She writes a family blog, Lenssen Acres Almana, covering humor, parenting, faith, DIY, home improvement, gardening, hunting, etc.  If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!) 

The 5 Kinds of Church Nursery Volunteers. – By Shelle Lenssen

As a parent of a loud and energetic two-year old daughter, I am so grateful to have a clean, safe, well-staffed place to take her on Sunday mornings while my husband and I enjoy the church service. (Okay, so I dunno who I’m kidding; we’d appreciate a not-too-scary looking cell supervised by anyone other than the flying monkeys from Wizard of Oz, as long as it meant an hour and a half of toddler-free time.) Since she’s been attending church nursery faithfully her whole life, we’ve gotten to know our friendly nursery volunteers pretty well, and they seem to fall in these five groups:

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(It’s guest post Friday! Here is a special Halloween edition from SCL favorite Some Guy. If you would like to guest post, here’s how.)

Halloween Costumes by Some Guy

I’ve been wondering why we wear costumes on Halloween.  I checked on the World Wide Web, (Have you been on that thing? It’s got everything, weather, sports, stock quotes. I mean everything.) And the Internet gave me a couple of different reasons.

Here’s why we apparently wear costumes:

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(It’s guest post Friday! Today’s post is from Robert Bruce.  Robert is a writer for the Dave Ramsey team, a blogger and a marathon runner. His blog about reading through the Time Magazine’s 100 greatest novels is brilliant. You can also find him on Twitter. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how.)

Grocery Store Makeovers – By Robert Bruce

Rob Bell started it. Or maybe it was Andy Stanley.

Twenty years ago, the abandoned Krogers and Kmarts of the world were a community eyesore—a harsh reminder of once-thriving businesses that served fresh zucchini, abundant nutmeg, and a wide variety of colorful, sugar-laden cereal.

But one day some ingenious pastor was walking down the deodorant aisle and said, “Hmmm. I wonder what a set of drums and a bass guitar would sound like about right here,” as he eyeballed a veritable potpourri of ocean-scented fragrances. (My Old Spice says it smells like “Freedom!”) Or maybe he glanced over to the paper products aisle and envisioned a pack of three-year-olds sitting in a circle and singing “Father Abraham.” Do the kids still sing that? They should, because that dude had many, many sons.

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