If you listen closely, you can hear people’s lives being changed at mailboxes across the country.

Why?

Because we just mailed them the Acuff family Christmas card.

Is “life change” an exaggeration of what’s possible upon reading our Christmas card? It is. An under exaggeration. It’s more like “family change” or “town change” or fine, I’ll say it, “world changing.”

We don’t send Christmas cards out, we start revolutions. It’s not a Christmas card; it’s more of a movement. People have been known to start kickstarter campaigns just to raise money to build mantles so that they have a fitting place to put our cards.

How did they get so awesome? How did our cards become so frame-demanding? Why is Thomas Nelson thinking about publishing a book called, Acuff Family Christmas Cards Through The Years? I’m glad you asked, and I’m finally ready to share some of our Christmas card secrets.

The truth is that creating a fantastical, Narwhale level of awesome Christmas card is pretty easy. You just have to pick from the five versions of Christmas cards. Here they are:

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(It’s Christmas time, which means it’s the perfect time to share some “Christmas Classics,” from the archives of Stuff Christians Like. Here’s one from the Stuff Christians Like book. Enjoy!)

Last year, someone gave my family an “Elf on the Shelf.” If you’re not familiar with it, it’s essentially a small elf in a box and a book. The book tells you that you’re supposed to hide the elf each night during the holiday season and let your kids find it. It’s magic or a messenger of Santa or something. It was wildly popular last year and is probably continuing to sell well this Christmas too.

But as I started to think about the whole “real meaning of Christmas” debate and “is Santa bad?” discussion that you almost are required by law to have if you’re a Christian blogger, I started to think about that elf. He was just sitting there with a smug look on his face perched on the fireplace mantle looming over our nativity scene below on the hearth. Instead of the traditional Santa vs. Jesus discussion, I began to imagine what would happen if that elf ever ran into the characters from the nativity scene. What would that conversation look like? I present you:

Elf on the shelf meets the characters from the nativity scene.

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I love my church.

I attend Cross Point Church in Nashville and absolutely love it. Allow me to count the ways:

1. There’s no mysterious “e” at the end of “Point.” (Not what you would put at the top of your list? Fine, we’re different.)
2. Pete Wilson is an amazing pastor and it’s great to sit under his leadership.
3. Our family has really found a sense of community there and made some awesome friends.
4. Cross Point is sharing the gospel in Nashville and around the world.
5. The worship on Sunday mornings is fantastic.

I could go on and on, but at some point I have to segue to the main idea of this post.

Every Christmas though, deep down inside, I secretly wish that my very contemporary church would go old school. All year long, I love how modern we are. Man, oh man, that speaks to my contemporary heart. That is my jam!

But, as I take my last bite of turkey on Thanksgiving Day, I turn into old school traditional church guy and start to long for an old fashioned Christmas church experience. This isn’t unique to Cross Point either. I felt the same exact way when we attended North Point in Atlanta. (I can only attend churches that end in “Point.” I’m sorry, that’s just how I was raised.)

What does that mean? Old school Christmas? Well here are 9 things I want our church to do at Christmas.

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One of the most popular Stuff Christians Like posts of all time was #550. Surviving church as a single. But recently, a friend who is single came to town for the holidays and I realized I had missed whole chunks of awkwardness in describing the bottomless joy that is “Being single during Christmas at church.”

So instead of simply remixing an old post, I decided to create a holiday-focused scorecard. Think of it like a seasonal ale they put nutmeg in during January. It only comes around this time of year. Without further ado, I give you:

Being single during Christmas at church:

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I hate to be dramatic, but I’m pretty sure that shower tried to murder me.

It didn’t look that scary from the outside. It was pastel tiled and simply designed. The family who owned it had invited me to live with them for a few weeks while I studied Spanish in Costa Rica during college. They had a modest house outside of San Jose and all was perfectly peaceful until the first morning I took a shower.

In this section of Costa Rica, and perhaps other parts of Latin America, they did not have hot water heaters. In order to get warm water, you had to first turn on the metal showerhead. Then, once the water was on, you flipped a big breaker box that sparked and hissed, sending an electrical current into the pipe, thus warming the water.

This act broke every rule of electricity I had ever learned in shop class as a young lad. Let’s go over the process once more:

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I wasn’t going to write about this one. The Christmas season was going to come and go and I wasn’t even going to touch it. Like every fraternity at Samford University’s view of Freshman Jon Acuff, I was going to reject this.

Until I saw the billboard.

Sunday night, driving home from vacation with my family outside of Atlanta, GA, I saw a new billboard.

On a background of festive red, with big white letters I read a simple message:

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Wow, just wow.

A few weeks ago, my four-year-old McRae and I were talking about God. We tend to have some fairly heated theological conversations because she’s Dutch Reform and I’m not. After discussing a few of the many things that make God awesome (He loves us, He gives us sunny days, etc.) McRae turned to me and with all the seriousness that a child can muster said, “God sure made Santa special.”

What am I supposed to do with that?

You have to admit, she has a point. Unless her father is a liar, then Santa is pretty special. Because based on what I’ve told her, he is able to deliver toys and treats to every person on the planet in one night. And he has reindeer that can fly. And he is some kind of omniscient because he knows if you’ve been good or bad. And to top it all off, he controls an army of little green elves who apparently love working nonstop in the North Pole.

But, as a Christian, where does Santa fall into our discussions of Christmas? I think we have 3 possible approaches:

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It’s hard to believe we’re already celebrating our second Christmas on Stuff Christians Like. We had a great time last year, my favorite was the elf on the shelf beat down, but it’s almost time to roll out some fresh Christmas flavored ideas.

What Christmas idea is currently missing from Stuff Christians Like?

What funny Christmas event/food/activity/idea needs to be added to the site?

Let’s talk it out in the comments. Five people who comment by Monday, November 23 will win a copy of “Light up the World,” from the Desperation Band. I’ve been listening to it for the last few weeks and think you’ll dig it.

So, what should we talk about this Christmas?