When I was in college in the middle of my disasterous rave phase, some basketball players from my school saw me dancing at a night club in Birmingham called “The Studio.” No big deal, except at the time I was “dancing” with two glow sticks that I had purchased in the camping section of Wal-Mart. I was swirling them about awkwardly to techno music like Will Ferrell with the ribbon in the movie, “Old School.” They made fun of me for months.
I would have been much better just doing that simple Choir Side Step Dance. (There’s got to be a better name for this move.) This is the thing choirs do when they shift from one foot to the other and kind of angle their shoulders. Back and forth. Back and forth. Work it out. Is it a side step? A two step shift? Hard to say, but all the American Idol contestants were doing it last night perfectly as they sang “Shout to the Lord*.”
Choirs invented this move in 1973 when they realized they wanted to dance a little but they didn’t have room on the stage. So they came up with this side move so they could still express about 12% of the funk without bumping into each other. But it’s gone viral and you see it outside of church now. At nightclubs, guys that don’t have any rhythm will pull this move off, right before the try to dance behind you. I’m sorry. On behalf of all men, let me please just say, we’re sorry. We interpreted you dancing with your friends and not making any eye contact with us whatsoever as you saying, “Hey complete stranger come dance behind me, let’s fall in love.”
*Yes, my head would have exploded if they had performed, “Our God is an Awesome God.”