Laughter is a gift from God. When we refuse to accept it, it makes Him want to take it back. Like the unicorns.

Winners of the book "Seven"

Misc May 12, 2009 • Comments

Here are the five winners of the book “Seven” by Jeff Cook.

If your name is on this list, shoot me an email at theacuffs@yahoo.com with “Seven Winner” in the subject line and your mailing address so I can hook you up.

Thanks for sharing all the great books you’ve read.

Saskia said…
I was going to answer with We Were the Mulvaneys by Joyce Carol Oates, because it showed me that sometimes, there just isn’t redemption possible in families. Guess I’m not the only one whose family dysfunction is permanent.

Then I read the comments and realized you meant a book about Christian living. I don’t know if my selection counts, but I’d go with Rapture Ready! by Daniel Radosh. His book is about (American) Christian subcultures, and besides opening my eyes (I had no idea there were so many Christian versions of so many secular things!) it also made me more mindful of the fact that just because it’s Christian, that doesn’t make it better, but sometimes Christian subcultures are good. (does this make any sense at all?) Anyway, Radosh is a journalist, and the book has a lot to do with Christian culture and not so much with God, but I thought it funny and thought-provoking anyway.

And the real reason I’m commenting on it is that I learned of your blog through Radosh’s blog (he linked to #228 Bible Wars told via G.I. Joe) and I’ve become an avid reader ever since.

Allie said…
The last great book I read was Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen. I’m aware from the outset that this could injure me in any competition of this kind, depending on the judge’s opinion of Austen books, but I thought about it and honestly couldn’t say I’ve recently read anything better. I discovered Pride and Prejudice when I was thirteen and it was like a whole world opening up, where authors were clever and where you could read a story with a pretty standard plot that rose above the standardness, and prodded and poked you. I hadn’t read it for a very long time until I picked it up recently, and when I read it this time I was suddenly feeling the joy I felt when I first read it, aged thirteen. New aspects of the book were opened up that I’d never noticed or considered before and yet the same joy (in the characters, in the little ironic voice of the narrator hidden behind the story, in the pleasure hidden in the voice of the narrator at her work) remained.

Justin Steinhart said…
Hitler’s Cross by Erwin Lutzer

First off, I never thought that I would ever read a book with Hitler and Cross right next to each other. Secondly, when I read it in public and on an airplane, people looked at me like a Skinhead (I think this alone should get me into the top 5). Lastly, because my politics and religion have never been challenged together in one book like this one did…

Mary said…
omg, my two favorite things coming together. stuff christians like and pioneer woman! my universes have collided.

anyway. the last great book i read was proverbs.

i was trying to think of a last great book i read that wasn’t in the bible, but there are so many great books i’ve read to choose from and honestly, the last thing that blew my mind was proverbs.

i always used to page through it, glancing over the one-liners of practicality for living, never really taking any of it to heart or seeing its importance.

it wasn’t until this winter, after making some horribly foolish decisions and hitting rock bottom in a lot of ways, that proverbs found a new, deep meaning within my soul.

i don’t even know how i ended up there. but one day, i found myself in proverbs, reading through beginning to end, underlining nearly the entire book.

the painted portrait of wisdom is just so beautiful and attractive. the importance of discipline, purity, obedience to the lord – these qualities are so counter-cultural in our day, and yet so at the heart of our lord.

i am very much a fool. but this is something that i’ve realized and now, my pursuit for the wisdom of god has taken me above and beyond places i ever thought i’d be able to reach. proverbs slapped me in the face and picked me up. who would’ve thought

Sara said…
it’s a toss-up between the return of the prodigal son by henri nouwen and the practice of the presence of God by brother lawrence.

i consider the former a great book maybe only because i’m in a season of my life where i see myself both as the prodigal and the elder son and nouwen articulates it all so eloquently yet concisely. then he shared how he was challenged to look at the father of the two sons and grow into a father-figure role.

the latter is also great, in my opinion, because it’s a compact yet packs a punch – like dynamite. granted, i didn’t jibe (jive? it’s one of those words i always hear people use but never see written) with all his points but i do appreciate that he takes something that seems complicated and lofty and explains it simply, he demystifies what it is to practice God’s presence without removing the mystery entirely – kinda like decaffeinating coffee, i guess.

i don’t even know if this free book biznatch is still a valid offer, but free book or no, this was a nice little writing exercise. so, uh, thanks?

538. Getting tricked into volunteering for VBS.

Church/ church culture/ vbs May 11, 2009 • Comments

Lean in close, I don’t have much time to tell you this idea and if they catch us, we’re both in trouble. Even as I speak, zig zag scissors are cutting construction paper, glue sticks are being rolled up, angry badgers are being jammed into bags and colorful thumbtacks are being counted. We’re on the cusp of Vacation Bible School season, which means that in the next few weeks, the Swiss Army Knife Volunteers that run VBS are going to be recruiting new helpers.

If you want to do that, great. Have at it. Noah’s Ark the summer away my friend. But if you don’t want to volunteer, if you’ve got flannel graph phobia, keep a sharp eye out for these important signs:

1. If someone with glitter on their clothes approaches, do not make eye contact.
This is the easiest way to escape VBS volunteering. Just avoid anyone that shimmers in an unnatural way. If you get even the slightest hint of a glimmer radiating from someone, they’ve been exposed to VBS glitter and are about to infect you too. Beware.

2. If someone asks you what your summer is going to be like, answer “busy.”
“That’s weird,” you’ll think to yourself, “Miss Brenda sure seems interested in how my family is spending our summer all of the sudden.” That’s not a pleasant conversation you’re having, that’s a fact finding mission the VBSeratti has sent Miss Brenda on. They’re just prepping for the “ask.” If they know you’re going to be available this summer, when they ask you to volunteer, you won’t be able to make your schedule the fall guy, “Oh, I would love to, but I’ve got some date conflicts.” Don’t over share where and what you’ll be up to this summer, just say, “I’ll be busy.”

3. Don’t fall for the “I guess my wife signed us up” technique.
Guys, sometimes we get voluntold. That happens. Our wives will tell someone that we’d love to help out and then later will let us know we’ve been voluntold to lead Sunday School for 4 year olds. But don’t assume that’s what has happened when a VBS recruiter talks to you. If they say, “What classroom should I put you down for this summer in VBS,” don’t assume that means your wife already signed you up. Maybe she hasn’t and if you automatically respond, “I guess third grade?” The recruiter’s trap will have been sprung and they’ll say, “Oh that’s great! You’re volunteering this year? Thank you so much.”

I could go on and on, but I think I smell bootleg cookies and orange drink. That can only mean one thing, they’ve found me. The next time we meet, I’ll probably be covered with glitter and will be trying to pry out details about what you’re doing this summer. Ignore my questions and flee.

Save yourself.

It’s too late for me.

Don’t look back.

Just go, just go.

Question:
Are you volunteering for VBS this year?

Chicago this October

Misc May 11, 2009 • Comments

I’ve spent roughly two hours in Chicago and both of those hours were in the airport. That’s going to change this October though because I’m participating in Cultivate on October 27 at Park Community Church. I’ll be sharing a conversation idea, instead of a presentation and the theme of the conference is culture, innovation and communication. The organic flow of the whole thing was really appealing to me as was the promise that I could swear. A lot. I’m kidding. My contract says “Jon needs to swear a little and prefers the carmel of Twix candy bars. Not the whole Twix, just the extracted carmel.” For more on Cultivate, check out cultivateconference.com. (I think it’s going to be a ridiculous good time.)

The day after Cultivate is STORY, an experience in the Paramount Theater in Aurora, Illinois that the wildly talented Ben Arment is putting together. Folks like Donald Miller, Dave Gibbons and Mike Foster will be there. This two day event will feature presentations and workshops and a fresh perspective on what it means to tell a story. For more on STORY, check out www.storychicago.com.

So come to Chicago. I’ll be starting a conversation on the 27th with Cultivate and hope you can make it out there.

Stuff Christians Like List

Misc May 9, 2009 • Comments

It’s been way too long since we shared things we like. Here are the things I am digging right now. Please tell us all what you’re digging in the comments.

Let’s go:

1. This video.
This is one of the greatest descriptions I’ve ever heard of the creative process and how it’s bigger than just you. The author of the massive book “Eat, Pray, Love” talks about how we got it wrong when we started to think that we alone are responsible for our creativity. And she talks about the realization that her life’s best work, her million selling book, might be behind her and what that feels like. From the TED conference.

2. Roman Candle’s New Album
A deep love for this band is something me and Philip Seymour Hoffman have in common. In addition to making fans wherever they go, writing an album with some of the best lyrics I’ve ever heard from start to finish, these guys never put “Making it big” above their families and their faith. Paste Magazine, an insanely good publication, said about their new album, “After three albums, this Chapel Hill, N.C. band has now written a modern-rock masterpiece.” Check out their new album “Oh Tall Tree in the Ear” and visit their site if you get a chance. The video below is from one of their earlier albums and includes the line “I wish I was in New York this morning sitting all by myself, in the land where father and son relationship deepen like the coastal shelf.” If you can work the phrase “coastal shelf” naturally into a lyric you have my utmost respect as a writer. I think I wrote about them before but they deserve a second mention:

3. Futureme.org
Futureme.org gives you the chance to write yourself or other people emails that will be delivered in the future. My friend wrote himself one a year ago about being careful not to take certain projects on. He forgot all about it. On the verge of jumping right back into a situation he would have hated, he got an email from himself that essentially said, “Don’t! Please don’t do work like this in the future. It is no fun and kind of depressing.” I sent myself a few emails that will come in March when my book comes out. I also want to send my kids a few emails that will come in 60 years from now. It’s a neat, free service that I recommend. Going through the exercise of thinking about what you would want your future self to know is surprisingly challenging. They have a book of letters people have shared and although it’s got some questionable material, it’s also full of future letters from real people that say stuff like, “If you’re reading this, I want to congratulate us because we’ve fought off cancer together for another year. I am so proud of you!” and “Being the best at something you hate is like winning a lifetime supply of KFC.” Gut wrenching, honest, funny and all the other emotions you’d want the future you to know are in that book. (I sent some to myself that I won’t get until next summer that essentially say, “Hey fancy author guy Jon Acuff, don’t be a jerk. OK?”)

4. Badly Drawn Boy – The Shining
I can’t stop listening to this song.

5. Evernote.com
This app is the only reason I’m thinking about getting an iPhone. Right now, I have about 20 notebooks filled with ideas from the last four years. They might as well be lost though because I can’t easily retrieve them. It would take me hours to find a specific idea. You can take a photo of every page in your Moleskine notebook, put it in evernote and then have it indexed. So I can type in “Booty, God, Booty” and evernote will retrieve the photo of the page I first wrote that on with the phrase highlighted in my journal.

6. What Would Google Do? by Jeff Jarvis.
This book is rocking my understanding of community.

7. The Starfish and the Spider: The Unstoppable Power of Leaderless Organizations.
This book is brilliant. The basic theme is that if you cut a spider’s head off it dies. That is a centralized organization. Like the traditional music industry. If you cut a starfish’s leg off, it grows another starfish. That is a decentralized organization. Like online music. That probably sounds weird, but the ideas in this book about how a small group of people that care about something can do something big without an official leader or a structure or money or a formal office or anything else is close to my heart right now.

8. The art of non-conformity
Seth Godin linked to Chris Guillebeau’s site, The Art of Non-Conformity and I am so glad he did. His free PDF/book “279 Days to Overnight Success” is great and I couldn’t put it down once I found out he was giving it out. Check it out.

Those are the things I like right now. How about you?

What’s on your like list?

iPhone App for Stuff Christians Like?

Misc May 8, 2009 • Comments

Thanks for the great comments, the contest is over. You guys are insanely creative and I really appreciate you sharing all these ideas.

I want to be honest with you, I keep waiting for Zondervan, the publisher of the Stuff Christians Like book, to tell me “NO.”

They’ve been really cool to me during this whole process, but I came to this experience expecting them to play it safe. I mean, they print the Bible after all. Every morning when I read it I see “Zondervan” on the spine and the thought of the Stuff Christians Like book rolling down the same conveyor belt as the Bible is mind blowing to me.

So I keep expecting Zondervan to say no to all the crazy ideas I am telling them. But they aren’t. At all. Not even a little bit.

When I suggested we open the book with what is easily the most over the top sentence I’ve ever written, they didn’t bat an eye.

When I amplified the funny as hard as I could, they didn’t pull me back, they asked me to lean into it even harder.

When I told them I used to exaggerate the strength of my relationship with Blue Like Jazz author Donald Miller because I wanted to look cool in front of other Christians and therefore thought it would be hilarious if he endorsed my book on the back cover by simply saying, “I don’t know Jon Acuff nearly as well as he likes to tell people I do.” They didn’t say “bad idea.” They laughed and said, “Let’s do that.”

At every turn, they have blown up my expectations, adding awesomeness in so many ways. And then last week they called me with a new idea.

“What if we maybe created an iPhone app for Stuff Christians Like?”

I laughed until I realized they were actually considering that, then I kicked a river birch out of excitement (It’s an old trick I learned from Van Damme’s movie “Bloodsport”) and then I said, “Let’s ask the readers what they would want.”

So that’s the topic of discussion. If you were going to design an iPhone app for Stuff Christians Like, what would it do?

Would it be a way to access and organize and play around with all the posts on this site?

Would it be some kind of game that tells you how to maneuver through the hilarious aspects of Christian culture? (e.g. Here’s how to give a side hug.)

Would it be something completely different?

I would love to hear your ideas.

The best 3 comments/ideas will get a copy of Shane Hipp’s book, “Flickering Pixels.”

Enter comments until Sunday, May 24 for a chance to win.

So, if we got to create a Stuff Christians Like iPhone app, what would it be like?

(Doesn’t matter if you don’t own an iPhone or have ever used an app. Get creative, get crazy, get raspberry beret. Just seemed like that last sentence was becoming a Prince lyric so I went ahead and finished it that way.)

Pause.

Misc May 7, 2009 • Comments

As we’ve talked about before, the problem with this site is that sometimes the onslaught of content avalanches over ideas. I had something written for today but wanted to pause on yesterday’s post instead.

And, Zondervan said I could tell you about something on Friday and I think it’s going to take full SCL participation. I wanted to allow some breathing room so that we can all limber our fingers and get ready for tomorrow.

I’ll give you a hint. It’s about the book. If you told your grandfather, he would probably say, “What is that?” If you told your metrosexual worship leader he would probably say, “How pomo” or maybe, “How Corduroyed Giraffe.” And if you told me, I would probably say “No doy!” Because I’m trying to bring that phrase back.

So get ready for tomorrow.

Side hugs, leg drops and razzle to the “Do you think Zondervan will really let you do that thing? Yes I do, they’re the ones that suggested it.” Dazzle,

Jon

537. Forgetting that you are famous.

god/ Serious Wednesdays May 6, 2009 • Comments

The only time I’ve ever been recognized was not as weird as I thought it would be. I guess in my head I envisioned my family and I would be walking in the mall and some stranger would exclaim, “Jon Acuff? The Jon Acuff? Wow, it is you!” Then I would blush and maybe shield my kids behind me with my arm because this person’s adoration would be so intense. They’d say, “Oh, please, say something that is both sarcastic and insightful at the same time. You’re so wise and adequately heighted.” I’d correct them on the use of the word “heighted” which is actually not a word, and then I’d say two or three off-the-cuff sentences that would change their life and then maybe sign their arm or a Bible if it were available. Seems like a pretty reasonable expectation, right?

It didn’t happen like that. A guy just walked up to me at church and introduced himself. We talked for a few minutes about Stuff Christians Like. The whole thing was over before I knew it and was pretty uneventful. Which is probably exactly how God wanted it.

I tend to get ego drunk pretty quickly. When people compliment me, outwardly I do the Christian courtesy of immediately rejecting the kind words. Inwardly though, I’m often drinking in their kindness and doing a little “look how awesome I am” dance. I’m patting myself on the back with both arms and both legs at the same time, which is difficult but not impossible since I’ve taken yoga twice. (Which may or may not be “of the devil”–jury’s still out on that one.)

Knowing that about myself, knowing I’m prone to massive “me parades,” I am constantly wrestling with God over the unexpected growth of Stuff Christians Like. There’s a circle of famous Christians right now: big pastors, authors who have written amazing books, speakers who stalk conference stages like cougars. And I wanted to be inside it. I wanted to become a famous Christian.

One night while jogging, I confessed that to God. As ugly and as shallow as this sounds, I said to Him, “God, I want my story to give me fame. I want fame. I want to be famous.”

In a split second, I felt like God laughed. Not at me, but with me, which is something I feel like He regularly does. In my heart, I heard:

“Ha! You want fame? The creator of the universe knows your name. The Alpha and Omega knows who you are and what you care about. That’s as famous as you’re ever going to be. Whose acknowledgment of you is going to stand up next to mine?”

At that point, I started laughing too, because He was right. I’m already famous. God knew me in the womb. He knows how many hairs are on my head. He’s my absolutely biggest fan and I’m famous in His eyes. So are you. He’s got a blog about you that is simply astounding. He follows you on Twitter and started a fan group dedicated to you on Facebook. He can’t stop talking about you and pouring out love on you.

Is whatever you’re doing right now in life going to make you famous? Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. But ultimately it doesn’t matter. As Christians, we’ve already peaked. We can stop worrying about trying to become famous Christians. That’s done.

We are all famous.

536. Having a very specific idea of what certain people from the Bible looked like.

Bible/ Church/ church culture May 5, 2009 • Comments

This is a photo of Noah from my daughter’s Noah’s Ark puzzle. Really? Are you kidding me? That’s not what Noah looked like.

A mustache? I’m far from being an Old Testament scholar but I’m pretty sure it was against ancient Hebrew tradition to just rock the stache. Sure instead of Jubilee the Israelites could have celebrated a “mustachio bashio” and that would have been delightful, but back in the day it was all facial hair or no facial hair. The mustache never made a solo cameo.

And glasses? I’m sure they had those back then, but those look like some sort or evolution of the Rob Bell glasses. That guy should be at a Kings of Leon concert, not stepping off of the ark.

But perhaps the craziest thing of all is the curly sideburns. Am I supposed to imagine Noah spent most of his time inside the ark styling those things? “Hmm, too curly. Let me just try a little more tar, there, perfect. Flipped up high enough to say, ‘I’m cool, I like to keep it fun, I didn’t forget to grab the weird animals like the anteater,’ but not so curled that it looks like I can’t handle business. I built the freakin’ ark. Like the Flight of the Conchords, Noah knows what to do when it’s business time.”

Taken together as a package, Noah’s head looks like how I imagine somehow that stockpiles bodies not animals. Creepy.*

Am I the only one that does this? Am I the only one that has a mental picture of what someone from the Bible looks like? If you saw a red headed rendition of King David, would you do a double take? (Don’t tell me that it’s impossible for David to have been red headed, or I’ll throw the God card and say “nothing is impossible for God.”)

If I’m not the only one that does this, let’s play a little game.

If you had to cast the Bible movie, who would you choose for the following roles:

Noah =
Moses =
Paul =
David =
Goliath =

*If you look exactly like this photo, please don’t be insulted. Who am I to judge your head? I have a unibrow. Seriously, if you’re red headed, with glasses, beady little eyes and curled sideburns, we’re cool. Promise.

535. Communion Tray Etiquette.

Church/ church culture/ during church May 4, 2009 • Comments

If you’d never been to church before and someone handed you a plate of wafers and a spaceship-designed, traveling presentation tray full of juice cups during the middle of service, would that be weird? Would proclaiming that we’re about to eat the body of Christ clear things up? Probably not. You’d be puzzled, maybe even a little sweaty, until someone leaned over and handed you a copy of this book. And then everything would be alright because you’d know the five easy rules of Communion Tray Etiquette:

Rule 1: Always be prepared.
The second you realize you’re about to share communion, start scouting out which direction it’s coming from. Watch the back-and-forth, every-other-aisle jump the ushers are doing to determine if it will be passed from your left or your right. Assess the possible handoff skills of the person next to you. Do they appear cagey? Nervous? Old? Remember, they’ll be passing the tray to you with only one hand since their other hand will be holding the cup or the wafer. If you have even an inkling that your pew neighbor won’t execute a perfect handoff, prepare a two-hand reception. Not alligator-style like in God’s favorite sport, Frisbee, but with both hands out gently, as if you’re saying, “Hey fella, that’s OK, you can hand me that tray. It’s in good hands. You’ve done a great job. I’ll take it from here.”

Rule 2: Move it along.
The biggest communion tray foul you can commit is to hold the tray too long. You’re essentially causing a pew traffic jam or “PTJ.” While you sit there and tediously make up your mind, you’re signaling to everyone else sitting next to you, “Don’t mind me, I’m just preventing you from partaking in the most tender sacrament of faith. I’m blocking you from the body of Christ.” Aim to receive the tray, make your selection, and pass it to your neighbor in under two seconds. Sound impossible? It’s not if you follow rules three and four…

Rule 3: Practice quick cup selection.
I don’t know what kind of tray your church uses for communion, but growing up we used silver dishes with elevated, circular rows of cups. Kind of like the hats that Devo wore in the “Whip It” video. As you look down on all these options, you’re going to be tempted to analyze which one “looks best.” “Which is the fullest? Which one looks like it might spill? If I take a certain cup, can I empty a row like some sort of reverse game of Connect Four? Shoot, someone already took the center cup. That’s my favorite cup! That’s the King cup.” Ignore these thoughts. They’re only going to slow you down and make it look like you’re still deciding how you feel about this whole “Jesus thing.” Grab the first cup you make eye contact with and pass.

Rule 4: Break bread, not your concentration.
Chances are the bread or wafer will not be uniform in size. You might be looking at a plate full of wafers broken up into a variety of shapes and girths, or an actual loaf of bread will land in your lap. Do you put the tray down so you can use both bare hands on the loaf? Do you keep the tray in one hand and try to form some kind of eagle claw that can rip a chunk of bread out even though you’re not stabilizing the loaf? How much bread is too much bread? How big a wafer should you choose? Deep breaths, deep breaths. We’re going to get through this together.First and foremost, regardless of what’s on the tray, don’t root around. You’re not digging for buried treasure. As far as bread goes, I’m a fan of using both hands. Place the tray quickly on your lap, use your left hand to gently touch the back of the loaf and then pull a gumball-sized piece of bread off the front of the loaf with your right hand. (If you can fit both butter and jam on the piece of bread you’ve selected, you’ve gone too big and should be ashamed of yourself for hogging Jesus.) Then move on. No regrets about your piece. You got a great piece. It’s a fine piece. Let it go.

Rule 5: Pace yourself with consumption.
It’s hard to know when to eat your bread and drink your wine because different churches do communion different ways. So watch the crowd and the minister. Wait until you see a majority of people partaking. And be prepared to pretend you were just scratching your cheek if you go to put the bread in your mouth and realize right before it touches your lips that you were too early.

Ultimately, you might mess up all five of these steps. You might drop the tray on the floor and cause a huge commotion and have everyone stare at you. But I think if you did, God would say the same thing we say at our house when somebody spills: “No big deal.” Because it’s not about the cup or the wafer or the cold the person next to you is inevitably going to give you. It’s about Christ and He tends to live outside of etiquette.

Free Book – Seven

Misc May 2, 2009 • Comments

Thanks for the great comments, the contest is over. Check out the comments for a list of great books to read.

The Pioneer Woman gave away a Dyson Vacuum Cleaner on her blog once. I would love to do that, because the chance to play off of the word “suck” and create a contest called something like the “Sucktacular Sweepstakes” would be pretty fantastic.

I’m not there yet though. The Pioneer Woman has a fantastic blog and it’s massive. But please know that when I get my Stuff Christians Like official commemorative Bible Fanny Pack line and my signature series of candles going, things will be different. I’ll be able to make it rain Dyson Vacuum Cleaners. In the meantime, I like to make it rain free books.

This week, I’ve got five copies of Jeff Cook’s “Seven, the Deadly Sins and the Beatitudes” to give away.

I just started reading this book myself and have enjoyed it. Particularly the section on pride. Maybe you’ll like it too.

Today’s comment contest is simple:

“What’s the last great book you read and why was it great?”

That’s it.

Best 5 answers get a free book.

Enter as many times as you’d like until Thursday, May 7th. I’ll announce the winners after that.

So, what’s the last great book you read and why was it great?