1327. The marriage fight no pastor warns you about.

Are you married? Awesome.

Are you engaged to be married? Awesome.

Are you single and already feel like this post is irrelevant to you? Awesome.

Now that I’ve spoken directly to every possible group of readers, let me warn you about something no pastor warned me about before I got married.

We went to pre-marital counseling. Guy wore a sweater. Seemed like a good dude. Told us to never go to bed angry and which of the 6 love languages we each had. (Yeah that’s right, I said “6.” My letter writing campaign to Gary Chapman is probably going to convince him to add “sarcasm” as the last love language.)

But in all our pre-marital counseling, in all our conversations with wise married folk before we tied the knot, there was a situation that never came up.

A situation I find myself in right now my friends.

Brace yourself buttercup, this is about to get real. (Authentic, transparent, other words Christians love, etc.)

Jenny is thinking about doing something unfathomable.

She’s thinking about going down a path I never imagined she would.

She dropped a hand grenade sentence at dinner the other night. Ready to hear what she said? OK, here goes:

“I’m thinking about getting the new Samsung Galaxy.”

Still breathing? I hope so. I should have put a warning on this post like a roller coaster, “If you’re pregnant, have a sensitive heart, or a bad back, do not read.”

Bomb to the shell. Right?

So, why is this such a big deal?

I have an iPhone.

She currently does too. We are an Apple united family. We are in iLove. We are like Adam and Eve. OK, bad example, the apple situation didn’t work out in that story. I just thought we were on the same page. But, suddenly, I don’t know what to think anymore.

What am I supposed to do a month from now when I’m traveling and want to FaceTime with her? I open up my iPhone, click FaceTime, and it says, “User no longer loves Apple anymore.”

What then? Huh? What then?

Or what about when are kids are acting crazy and we say, “Here play with these phones for a minute and stop asking me so many questions.” Instantly they will start arguing over who gets the Samsung and the apps it has or does not have.

Is there anyway I could have seen this monumental, go ahead and juke me bro, crisis in our marriage? Are there signs I missed?

Possibly.

Here is a picture of the songs Jenny has downloaded on iTunes in her entire life. This is her entire iTunes collection. Seriously.

 

 

To quote Richard Marx, who was not downloaded, I should’ve known better.

My only hope is that someone who has just returned from a mission trip to Guam will read this and tell me, “First world problem! In Guam there are so many snakes. The bitey kind! You’re so ungrateful!” And then I can think about the torrid state of my heart, my complete lack of joy at my snake-free streets, and forget about my wife’s exodus from Apple.

Question:
Is your marriage divided over anything? Apple vs. Samsung? Alabama vs. Auburn? Texas vs. A&M?