1247. Wishing your church bulletin explained the worship leader’s tattoos.

In addition to sermon notes and the dates of VBS and other church miscellany, could the bulletin please explain the origin of each worship leader’s tattoos?

Is that too much to ask for?

It doesn’t have to be a color chart with a fold out. It’d be nice, but let’s not get too demanding.

I’m talking about an insert, depending on who is leading worship that week, that says something like this:

Wrist tattoo: Hebrew for “Wandering heart.”

Bicep: Cityscape with light indicating that we are supposed to be a city on a hill.

Forearm: Guitar and pitchfork representing the early Americana music that farmers used to make in parts of southeastern Kentucky.

Knuckles: Mistake made during Spring Break in Panama City. Mustache tattoos on fingers were hilarious that year. Don’t stare.

I love my friend Carlos Whittaker’s tattoo because I know the story behind it. It’s a painting of the conversion of Paul. It’s absolutely amazing, but when I don’t know the story, I start to make up stuff in my head.

Especially if the tattoo is a series of words. Have you ever tried to read someone’s paragraph long tattoo from afar? It’s a pretty awkward experience. You can’t increase the font size and people are weird if you walk up to them after church and say, “Do you mind holding your arm at this angle so that I can read it? Thanks!”

Am I the only one who has thought this?

Have you ever been in church and thought, “I wonder what that worship leader’s tattoo means?”