Too Loud for Jesus?
Here in the Live Music Capital of the World (Austin,TX), our church caters to young hipsters who like music. Very, very loud music. For the rest of us weenies, there’s a free stash of ear plugs.
But while you make shalom with your cochlea, ear plugs come with their own set of dilemmas:
1. Do you rip open the package and pop them in right away so you’re prepared for that first blast of joyful noise unto the Lord? Or do you wait until the lights go down and then subtly try to slip them in?
2. Do you pull them out when it’s time to “greet the person sitting next to you”? Or do you just smile and nod – you won’t remember that guy’s name next week anyway, right?
3. What about when it’s time to pray? It’s hard to pretend you’re giving God your undivided attention while stuffing used ear plugs into your pants pocket. But do you leave them in? If your church doesn’t splurge for the nice neutral tones, then what better way than neon purple foam to tell your neighbors that you’re 40 decibels more sensitive to God’s voice than they are?
4. What if you cram them so far inside your ear that you can’t fish them back out when it’s time for the sermon? (True story – don’t laugh! And if you’re single, add “small fingers” to your list of ideal characteristics for a future mate.)
5. Do you save them for the closing song? Put them back in the plastic wrapper? Balance them strategically on your lap if you’re wearing a skirt? And what if you attend a young, hip, loud church and you’re into the environment? Do you bring them back next week? And the next? What can you even recycle ear plugs into? Are there ear plug crafts at VBS? (“Look, a flock of purple sheep!”)
Still self-conscious? You can usually find your ear-plug-loving brethren hiding in the back near the “stroller section,” as far away from the speakers as possible. Just like you.
Do you accept the free gift of ear plugs or worship au naturel?
(To read more great stuff from Courtney, check out her blog at TheCuriousCalico.)