When did I become that awkward 35 year old who can’t make a free throw to save his life? I used to make fun of that guy when I was in the seventh grade, rocking my champion sweatshirt and listening to Bell Biv Devoe “Thought it was me” on my yellow Sony walkman.
I used to be able to do a layup. I promise. Though I was horrible at basketball and in the 8th was the short kid who played in the last 13 seconds of the game and got a raucous pity cheer from the crowd whenever he touched the ball in the hope that I’d actually score, I could hit a layup.
I thought about my complete lack of hoops skills (I’m so horrible I can’t spell it skillz) when I saw that Stephon Marbury, the former NBA star, recently became I born again Christian. I learned this in GQ magazine and my immediate thought was:
“Excellent, my all Christian basketball team is really starting to come together.”
You don’t have one of those in your head? You really should, it’s delightful. But before you start to build your own, I have to let you know whom I’ve already drafted and is no longer available for your team:
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