951. Hosting the Super Bowl at your church.

The Super Bowl is one of those “events” where I assume everyone is at an amazing party except for me. The closer we get to the game the more I suspect that somewhere, people will be having the kind of party that really only exists in stock photography. You know the scene: Popcorn bowl in mid air, people jumping off the couch in excitement, guys high fiving or chest bumping, adorable golden retriever barking in excitement.

That’s what I think when I watch it from my couch. Where are our banners or 37 layer dips and college buddies named “Sully” that I should be watching this thing with? Have you ever thought that before? Probably not. I am weird.

But something that’s really started to gain steam in the last few years, in addition to stock photography level Super Bowl parties, is churches hosting it. Not the actual game, although that would be awesome. I’m talking about churches hosting Super Bowl viewing parties. Churches will invite people from their communities to watch the game at “God’s house.”

I think that’s a fun idea, but as my friend Destiny Herndon asked me last week, what do the churches that have Super Bowl parties do when a trashy commercial comes on?

I’m not talking about in studio commercials the announcers have to do when they pretend they’re excited about a new sitcom on whatever channel is showing the game. “He’s tall, she’s tall, together they make up one crazy marriage. Tune in for brand new episodes of “Never 2 tall for love.”

I’m talking about the GoDaddy’s of the world or the lingerie bowl commercials. What can churches do when those ads come on? Here are three ideas I think they can implement next year:

1. Pray

Racy commercial comes on? A Kardashian pitching those weird shoes? Pray. Everyone will have their eyes closed so they won’t see the commercials. And you’ll get about 435 prayers said in a period of 3 hours because there are so many commercials. Bam! That is a win-win solution right there.

2. Tivo the game

Hold on, hear me out. Don’t Tivo the whole game, just about 15 minutes of delay. That way, when something crazy comes on, whoever is in control of the massive remote for the projector can fast forward right through it. (The rapid fire fast forward move is something I perfected while watching the unedited version of the movie “Love Actually,” with my in-laws which is very different on DVD than on TV.) You’ll have to create a cone of silence to make sure no one calls or texts the score while you watch the game and ruins the 15 minute gap of course.

3. Rainstick

Every time a questionable commercial comes on, have the lady in your church who went on a mission trip and bought a rainstick start playing it. In addition to the sound of flowing rice or beads blocking out the commercial, you’ll kind of have a relaxing, radio Delilah moment. Hiring Peter Cetera to add some Chicago hits to the mix is up to your discretion.

Hopefully, with 364 days to figure out this dilemma we’ll all have some great ideas by the time the next Super Bowl rolls around.

Did your church host a Super Bowl party this year?

Where did you watch the game?