#947. Proverbs 31 Wife – 3000 and 8 edition.
There are only three types of Bible verses read at Christian weddings.
1. Proverbs 31 – Which paints the Biblical picture of a wife.
2. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – Which paints the Biblical picture of love.
3. Obscure 2:1-5– Which paints the Biblical picture that your friends are “not going to go with the typical verses and instead picked a passage that no one in the history of mankind has ever read in a wedding.”
I’m a fan of all three, but recently realized that there are a lot of things I love about my wife that are not mentioned in Proverbs 31. I thought it might be fun to remix Proverbs 31, or “Message it” if you will.
Here are 5 ways I would remix the “Wife of Noble Character” description:
1. She does not dress a dog in “ensembles.”
I’m not sure if this is Biblical, but when Proverbs 31:24 says, “She makes linen garments and sells them,” they should add “but does not weave matching ensembles that both she and her purse dog wear.” Every time I see a dog wearing a sweater/sock/visor combo I hug my wife and tell her I love her.
2. She will tell you when your blog is whack.
A Proverbs 31, 3000 and 8 woman will not only read your blog, she’ll tell you when something you wrote is horrible. I’d tweak Proverbs 31:11 to say, “Her husband has full confidence in her, because he knows she loves him enough to dive in front of the WordPress ‘publish’ button and prevent him from sharing nonsense with the Internet.”
3. She will never let a brand fool you financially.
Proverbs 31:27 says, “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” At our house we’d add, “and does not eat chips from Walmart after realizing Santitas redesigned the bag, reducing the portion size from 13 ounces to 12 ounces without reducing the price.” Who sees that stuff? My wife has skills! Manufacturers call that “value engineering.” In order to make more money they just decrease the portion when no one is watching. Ohh, Jenny Acuff is watching Santitas. You too Costco, no longer giving cups for water and Macaroni Grill, removing the ice cream from the kid’s meal and now charging separately for it. Jenny Acuff sees all.
4. She will wear heels even if it makes her taller than you.
And it does, in heels, my wife is taller than me. But I once heard a counselor say, “The one thing a husband wants to know is that he is enough. That his masculinity, the way he provides for the family, the security he gives is enough. The one thing a wife wants to know is that she is not ‘too much.’ That she can be as beautiful and as powerful and as you unique as God has called her without overpowering the relationship. That her husband is enough to handle her becoming everything she can become.” Well, Jenny can become taller than me when she’s in heels, but I love that she’ll wear them anyway.
5. She won’t let you be a jerk on Twitter.
Proverbs 31:23 says “Her husband is respected at the city gate …” I don’t know if I’m respected at the city gate of Twitter, but if I am, it’s only because my wife won’t let me be a jerk with my tweets. She certainly doesn’t see all of them, but she regularly saves me from saying something mean, stupid or both. I’m not saying you should talk about your shared Twitter commitment in premarital counseling, but I love the one we have.
What would you add to your own list of Proverb 31 traits?
If you’re married what is something you as a wife do? As a husband, what do you appreciate about your wife?
If you’re single, what do you hope is true of your marriage in the future?
Let’s remix the Proverbs 31 woman.
