#806. Eagerly awaiting the invasion of Christian Silly Bandz.
Last week, the Friendly Atheist, who has been incredibly kind to Stuff Christians Like, thought something I wrote was unintentionally funny. In the Snopes post he thought it was odd that I felt the need to explain what Snopes was. It’s so well known and so obvious that he didn’t think I needed to.
This is how intense life is at the Acuff house.
But when I asked my mom if she had heard of Snopes, she instantly replied, “You mean Snopes Dog?” So with today’s post, in addition to giving you a photo of my four year old McRae throwing up a gang sign she learned from the original movie “Parent Trap,” while wearing Silly Bandz, I thought I better describe them. They’re colored rubber bands that are hot like fire right now. (And is my whole family “street” or what? Mom, Snoop Dog reference, Crae throwing it up. Dang)
Regardless of if you have heard of Silly Bandz, I for one am eagerly anticipating the arrival of the Christian version.
I know, I know, I know, they already exist. They have cross shapes and fish shapes and I’ve seen them. But maybe, just maybe I tend to take the high road when it comes to colorful religious themed rubber bands. Maybe, I like my bracelets a little more Christiany. So Silly Bandz, if you’re listening, here are
4 Things I Expect in the Christian Silly Band
1. Whip-ability.
If I am unable to weave these Christian Silly Bandz into a whip and possibly kick over some money changing tables at a temple, I don’t care what colors they come in. Every Christian knows that story gives us free reign to unleash our anger and if the Silly Bandz don’t help me do that, we’re through here.
2. Hemp.
Is hemp biblical? Maybe some sort of sisal instead? Or perhaps an organic cotton? I don’t care what you make them out of, but I would prefer my Silly Bandz to feel more Old Testament if at all possible.
3. Musical.
As evidenced in the photo, my daughter McRae likes to wear approximately 87 Silly Bandz at one time until they eventually dimple her four year old wrist like a rubber band python. I don’t love that, but what if each Christian Silly Band played a musical note and when you combined them all, they played Michael W. Smith’s “Friends are Friends Forever?” Would that be the greatest thing ever? Probably.
4. Better Marketing.
I don’t know what you’re marketing is for the Christian Silly Bandz, but I promise it could be better. I’m thinking of a tagline like, “The only rubber band that take’s God’s truth from your wrist to your head to your heart.” Dang, that is even under 140 characters so you can tweet it. You’re welcome.
I don’t have any power in the bracelet industry. (Toe rings are a different story, I’m like the John Gotti of toe rings). But my hope is that Silly Bandz will heed my words of wisdom. And maybe you will too.
Are you ready for the invasion of Christian Silly Bandz?
