#758. Icelandic Volcano Christian References
I have to something to confess. Something disappointing. Something a smidge whack. Something geographical.
I made a spiritual reference to the Icelandic volcano the other day.
I didn’t want to. No one ever plans these things. Those cheesy bursts of Christian topographical relevance. They just kind of happen and with me it was pretty simple. I told my uncle, “We like to think we’re in charge, until something like a volcano reminds us how utterly tiny we really are.”
And this was after I teased people for doing things like this on Twitter. Last Saturday, I tweeted,
If you listen closely, you can hear people looking for the phrase, “Icelandic volcano” in the book of Revelation.
Then 24 hours later, I did essentially the same thing. I’m such a hypocrite.
But perhaps I can regain your trust by offering a few pointers on how to properly name drop the Iceland volcano in a sermon or conversation with a friend. I mean you want to appear relevant and postmodern and maybe tell a metanarrative or two. (I understood zero words in that last sentence.)
So much like our guide to making a really solid Michael Phelps reference, pre pot bust, here is your guide to making a Christian Icelandic Volcano comment.
1. Relate it to the end times.
I probably throw the “here comes the fourth horse of the apocalypse” card too often, but you really can’t go wrong with an end times reference when the earth opens an angry chasm of fire and ash. I personally have received at least four photo slideshows via email that have pictures of lightning from the volcano and some sort of God message.
2. Juxtapose it against our “fancy technology.”
This is always a favorite of mine. Say something like, “We might have iPads, but all the apps in the world won’t stop a volcano.” What does that even mean? I’m not sure, I think it means that all the advanced technology in the world holds no sway over the eons old might of the Lord. But you kind of sound double relevant by name dropping an Apple product at the same time which is nice.
3. Blame Bjork or recruit Magnus Ver Magnusson
Saturday Night Live went the Bjork musician route, interviewing a fake Bjork about her country’s volcano. Me personally? I like the Magnus Ver Magnusson reference. He’s one of the world’s strongest men, and is from Iceland. Say something like, “I think the modern world’s version of Samson, Magnus Ver Magnusson, needs to throw mid-size sedans or empty kegs into the volcano.”
4. Reference Christian Environmental Books
Remember, it’s OK if you look both “relevant and book learned” during your reference. So name drop some recent books that discuss the interections of both faith and the earth. Jonathan Merritt’s “Green Like God
5. Get a fog machine.
Nothing makes a point about a volcano really stick quite like a fog machine billowing out that oddly sweet smelling smoke into a room. (Why do fog machines always kind of smell like pineapple?) Borrow one from the youth group and then whenever you make a volcano reference, kick it with your foot. And if your youth group doesn’t have one, stop by Spencer’s Gifts. That store and Radio Shack are still inexplicably open and you can get one there.
I’m sure I missed one or two, but I feel like that’s a legit list of ways to incorporate the volcano into your conversation.
Have you heard anyone make a volcano Christian reference?
Have you?
How about any other natural disaster?
