#724. Christian Greeting Cards

A few weeks ago, a greeting card company asked if I would ever think about doing a line of Stuff Christians Like greeting cards. The answer to that question my friend, is “yes.”

The opportunity to imagine a situation where a “Booty, God, Booty” card would be required was just too much fun to pass up. And imagine being single and someone giving you the “Surviving church as a single” greeting card. Tell me that wouldn’t warm your mono heart on a Valentine’s Day?

So I sent the greeting card company my book and I am anxiously awaiting their reply. I’m not going to lie, it’s been about a month and I haven’t heard back from them. Maybe they hated the book. I mean, that is very possible given that the first chapter is “Ranking honeymoon sex slightly higher than the second coming of Christ.”

Which is a shame, because Christians definitely like greeting cards. This topic belongs on the SCL list. But if they don’t publish my greeting cards, I’m probably still going to make some on my own, they just won’t be as high quality. I’ll probably have to just take photos with my digital camera and then write pithy statements. I’ll probably have to start today.

Below is the front of my first greeting card. I took this photo at work the other day. Inside the card it will say: “Angels are working for us.”

I think that’s probably going to sell a bajillionty copies, but maybe you have a better idea.

What would you suggest we write inside this greeting card? Caption please.