Last week a gangsta rap video about side hugs blew up and went viral. A bunch of huge blogs wrote about it. I don’t think I invented the term “side hug” but because I wrote about it in April 2008, put it on the cover of the Stuff Christians Like book and made buttons that say “I heart side hugs” people naturally assumed I was the mastermind beyond the video. I wasn’t. As one hate mail I received pointed out, I am “about as gangsta as a pocket watch.” (More on that later)

In the midst of all that, the Chicago Tribune called and interviewed me about side hugs. (I’m like some sort of side hug Jane Goodall.) The reporter was great and it was a blast talking with him.

Here’s a link to the article.

Wow, sorry to hear you’re going through such a tough time right now. That sounds really hard. Have you tried flipping your Bible open? No, I don’t mean reading your Bible, I mean “flipping it open.” Literally just flipping it open to whatever page your hand lands on and then reading that verse?

I don’t want to brag, but I have a 100% track record of success with that approach. Maybe that’s my spiritual gift. Is there anything written about the “art of the flip” in the Bible? I wouldn’t know because I’ve never read the whole thing, but there must be, because I’m really, really good at it.

Sometimes when straight flipping to a verse feels too easy, I’ll bust out a move like magician David Blaine and throw the Bible in the air against a window. Whatever verse it opens up on is the one I go with.

But you’re an amateur, so you should probably start with the simple approach and just flip your fingers through the pages like the wheel on Price is Right. Big money, big money, clickity, clickity, Jeremiah!

See that, I landed on Jeremiah 38:7. Let’s see what the Bible has to say today about your uncle’s gambling problem which is perplexing you right now:

“But Ebed-Melech, a Cushite, an official in the royal palace, heard that they had put Jeremiah into the cistern. While the king was sitting in the Benjamin Gate,”

OK, OK is your uncle by any chance named “Ebed-Melech?” No? Is he a Cushite? Has he ever vacationed near the Benjamin Gate? No? Hmmmm.

Ahhh, I see what’s going on. Your uncle loves to gamble right? Well have you ever been to the casinos in Philadelphia, Mississippi in July? I know, that name doesn’t even make sense, it’s like calling your city, “Chicago, Arkansas,” but I promise you it’s a very real place. And although it’s a nice place, during the summer, Philadelphia, Mississippi is like a cistern. It’s about 1,000 degrees, the air is so humid you can drink it, and there are rows and rows of people physically attached to nickel slot machines by gambling card necklaces they wear. Very cistern like.Very, very Benjamin gateish.

Wow, man. What a fliptastic interpretation! Sometimes I even surprise myself.

You’re welcome.

What? Context? Meaning? Bigger picture of the theological ramifications of the text’s heart and soul? That’s adorable. You need to trust in the gift of the flip. I’ll pray for you.

Clickity, clickity.

Zakk is back from Thanksgiving and ready to add some items to his already stylish metrosexual worship leader attire. (If you haven’t been following along, for every $3,000 we raise to build 2 kindergartens in Vietnam we add an accessory to the comic figure Wes Molebash has been drawing.)

And I’m happy to say that we are a mere $653 away from hitting our next goal. That means we have less than $700 to go until we hit a total of $53,000 raised on our way to the final $60,000. Every time I think we’re slowing down, someone steps up and donates $5 or $10 or $270. The whole thing is unbelievable.

We can do this. Zakk is ready. I’m ready. You’re ready. It’s the final countdown.

Click here to donate

(It’s December 1 and I thought it might be fun to roll out a few Christmas classics from years gone by. And by “years gone by”  I of course mean 2008. So in addition to some new Christmas posts coming your way in the next few weeks, expect some classics too. Here’s #452. Leg dropping elves. (Or the real meaning of Christmas.))

Last year, someone gave my family an “Elf on the Shelf.” If you’re not familiar with it, it’s essentially a small elf in a box and a book. The book tells you that you’re supposed to hide the elf each night during the holiday season and let your kids find it. It’s magic or a messenger of Santa or something. It was wildly popular last year and is probably continuing to sell well this Christmas too.

But as I started to think about the whole “real meaning of Christmas” debate and “is Santa bad” discussion that you almost are required by law to have if you’re a Christian blogger, I started to think about that elf. He was just sitting there with a smug look on his face perched on the fireplace mantle looming over our nativity scene below on the hearth. Instead of the traditional Santa vs. Jesus discussion, I began to imagine what would happen if that elf ever ran into the characters from the nativity scene. What would that conversation look like? I present you:

(more…)

In the last few weeks we’ve had some great giveaways. There are two lists of winners below. The first is for the Bible Experience, the massive audio Bible.

If your name is on this list, please email me with “Experience Winner” in the subject line and your mailing address so that I can get you the full set of CDs. Thanks!

Mat282Ob

Jstainer

Emily Borders

Jase Rohde

Karen Stewart Tolmich.

The list below is for the Desperation CD and was compiled from people that submitted a Christmas idea. If your name is on this list, please email me with “Desperation CD” in the subject line and your mailing address so that I can get you the CD. Thanks!

Reganwest

Dustin Byrd

Becky Miller

Joshmayonline

JanetInLA