#658. Resisting the vampire invasion.

Last week I spoke at the Clemson University Fellowship of Christians Athletes. There were maybe 500 or 600 people.

To me, that felt like about 27,000

The folks at Clemson told me that was small.

I can’t believe what they’ve got going on there. On most Thursday nights, 800-1,200 students are filing into that auditorium and there’s not an adult in sight. It’s all student led. At 33 I was one of the oldest people in the room. It was just amazing.

But why was attendance so low the night I spoke?

Because I have a unibrow? Nope.

Because the smarter/hotter of the two Acuffs, my wife, did not come with me? Nope.

Because Thursday is “must see TV” night? Nope.

Those are all good guesses, but the reason attendance was about half the size it should have been is pretty simple …

Vampires.

The next installment of the Twilight series, New Moon, opened that night at midnight. And that along with finals lightened the crowd.

In fact, during the middle of my speech several girls got up and left to go catch the movie. And to be honest with you, I thought about talking to them as they walked down the aisle. I’ve never spoken at a college before so I wasn’t sure if that would have been really funny or really awkward, or maybe both.

I thought about saying, “I want to send a special prayer out tonight to the people who skipped a once in a lifetime night of worshipping God to go watch a vampire movie that will undoubtedly be in the theater for two months and then on DVD 4-eva.”

I would have popped the “4-eva” like it was a piece of flavorless fruit stripes gum. But I didn’t and I’m proud of myself for not. But you know what? I’m even prouder of Christianity for not jumping on the vampire, werewolf, zombie band wagon right now.

We’re thinking about it, I can feel it coming in the air tonight like Phil Collins. Across the country pastors are tempted to do Twilight sermon series. Around the world, Christian authors are thinking about the parallels of the everlasting life of a vampire and the true everlasting life of a Christian. Christian film producers are feeling the siren’s call of Final Cut screenplay software. “Just write a Christian version of Twilight, just write a Christian version of Twilight.”

Hold strong! Unless you’re a youth minister, resist the urge to work teenager romance vampire references into your sermons. Fight the good fight! We can do this. We can resist this trend.

p.s.

If we’ve already lost, if there is already a Christian version of Twilight that I don’t know about because I’m wicked out of touch, please don’t tell me. Let me have this moment please. Let me have this moment.

Did you see the Twilight movie or read the books?

Don’t you feel like Cornelius, the white dove who drops off Christian laws from the Southern Baptist Convention on my doorstep should be ruling on this one?