Archive - November, 2009

Wishing there was a Christian version of Lady Gaga.

Can we please put TobyMac in a laboratory somewhere and get him on top of this already? Seriously, lock him and Kirk Franklin and Mandisa and maybe Barlow Girl in a room in Nashville and don’t let them come out until they’ve figured out how Christianity can have their own version of the uber popular dance sensation Lady Gaga.

Why?

I have three reasons we need a Christian Lady Gaga.

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Free chapter of Stuff Christians Like book with Christmas Pre-Order

The Stuff Christians Like book makes a great Christmas present for a few reasons:

1. It’s only $8.76 but feels like a $22 book.

2. If you pre-order I will mail you a free chapter you can wrap for Christmas.

3. It’s got more than 80 new ideas and 40 classics from the blog.

4. It smells a little like cinnamon and cloves.

OK, I don’t know if that last one is true, but here’s the deal:

If you pre-order the book as a Christmas gift for yourself or for a friend/family member/volleyball team, I will mail you an autographed copy of one of the chapters so that you can physically hand the person a gift. The book comes out in April, so it’s like a double gift. Free chapter now, entire book in April.

The chapter is illustrated. It’s a never before seen idea. And it’s yours free when you pre-order the book. Just email me with “free chapter” in the subject line and send me your mailing address. (If you already pre-ordered you can get the free chapter too! Just email me.)

This offer is available until Sunday, December 13. So pre-order today and then email me.

Click here to order Stuff Christians Like from Amazon.com

Click here to order from Barnes & Noble.

Let’s finish. (Cue Europe’s “Final Countdown.”)

Gathering wood (2)

We’re only $9,285 away from building 2 kindergartens in Vietnam.

Why are we doing it? Because, “that’s pretend, right?”

Where? Hoang Then village in the Phong Tho district, Northwest section of Vietnam.

For who? Almost 500 kids like this little girl who want to go to kindergarten.

When? Right now.

Click here to donate.

David Crowder stops by Stuff Christians Like.

A few weeks ago, I asked you what you’d like to ask David Crowder, lead singer of the band appropriately named, the “David Crowder Band.”

You submitted some fantastic questions. I picked a bunch and sent them to David Crowder. Here in his own words are the answers to those questions.

Gina Ballerina

How do you deal with it when you don’t feel particularly close to God, or even are mad at Him, and you have to play a concert?

David Crowder:

I kick Him in the shins then run! (Also, there’s this: There have been times when I have felt like I’m in the wilderness, you know, on my own, in a desert-like environment, isolated, desolate, abandoned in a godforsaken wilderness with cacti, well, no cacti, but still the desert metaphor works in communicating the bleakness I have felt on occasion. A good friend of mine pointed out that it was none-other-than God Himself that lead His people into the wilderness from time to time, which could in turn mean that when you feel you’ve been deserted, you may be exactly where He wants you. He may have even had a hand in bringing you to that point. This has brought a small amount of comfort in those times.) But I do find the kicking of shins to be therapeutic.

brodave872

What is the strangest place you’ve found inspiration for song or creative idea? Your mashed potatoes? Pocket lint that resembles the face of Jesus? An exceptionally good burrito?

David Crowder:

I must say that I once found God in a Chik-fil-a sandwich. It was transcendent. But there’s very little consistency available when attempting to find the Divine in various foods, which can be frustrating as a writer. And so I announce this: It is proven fact that a large majority of my songs are written while driving. I suspect it to be the element of danger present when trying to write on a napkin with a pencil while driving with my knees. There is a heightened sense of presence that is difficult to recreate in other writing environments.

Mary

I would ask how high he scored on the “How Metrosexual Are You Because You’re A Worship Pastor” quiz.

David Crowder:

7. But I added a few questions to bring my score up.

James

Do you ever get tired of leading worship and want to be led? And where or what do you to get that refreshment? I wonder this about our worship leader since it seems that he is always leading at our church and the Sundays that he isn’t there its because he is leading someplace else. I would imagine it would be even more difficult for you.

David Crowder:

To be very honest, I have a very difficult time shutting my head off when I find myself in an environment where someone else is leading. I’m paying attention to song arrangements and chord structures, instrumentation, song selection, flow, verbal announcements. I have never been successful at not thinking in an analytical way during those times and so I find that I have the more ecstatic, “worshipful” moments when music is not occurring. It makes sense – when I’m seeing leadership modeled, I want to take it apart and see what works so that I myself can lead better. I think we ask too much of music anyway and I rejoice when I experience God in an emotional way and it is not attached to music. Also, no, I never get tired of leading in corporate expressions of worship.

Thad

If you could make an album without regard to commercial/CCM/fanbase expectation, what would it sound like? In other words, you could indulge every personal creative motif at your disposal.

David Crowder:

It would sound just like Waylon Jennings.

justinwithafro

You’re in a metal cage death match with you, Mac Powell, Chris Tomlin, Soul Glow Activator, Matt Redman, Matt Thiessen and Reese Rooper. Who comes out alive?

David Crowder:

No one. And I think you knew this when creating your little scenario, which makes this just a sick question. Shame on you.

John Scheepers

As a “Christian celebrity” (I know that title stinks but there is some truth in it), whose first devotion is to Christ and not your own press, how do you maintain your integrity, humility and godliness and keep the focus on Christ, in the face of the hype from Christian media and fans?

David Crowder:

This question seems to assume that hype from Christian media and fans would lead to a lack of integrity, pride, and ungodliness. As for pride, yes, I’m certain this would be a struggle if you were not married to my wife. Fortunately, she has the spiritual gift of criticism. Also, my friends are angry people and they take it out on me, so again, not a problem. Yeah, I’m probably the most humble person ever! [SIC] So, that just leaves, “ungodliness,” and, “a lack of integrity,” both of which are fostered and nurtured regularly by hype from Christian media. This is why I refuse to do interviews! I tell them that too, I say, “listen, I’d love to talk to you about my latest album Church Music and my latest book, Everybody Wants To Go To Heaven But Nobody Wants To Die, but I can’t. I refuse! Because, it is a slippery slope man; if I talk to you and you say good things about me and people think good things about me they might say them to my face or I might read them and then I will think I’m awesome and I absolutely can not have that! No sir!!! I am so, so, so not awesome.” And this has kept me out of most interviews.

Another thought comes to mind. I wonder if I’m in the same boat as everyone else? I wonder if I were to have become an insurance agent, as originally planned, (yeah, you read that right! Insurance is awesome!!) instead of a super famous Christian, if I would struggle with integrity, humility and godliness as well?

100 things to do the day after Thanksgiving.

I recently realized that the archive page on Stuff Christians Like only had links for posts 1-500. And since we’re well on our way to 700, I figured it was time to update the list. Here are easy links to posts 501-600. Of the last 100, I think these three are my favorite:

#512. Thinking you’re naked.

#516. Joking about sex during wedding ceremonies. about sex at weddings

#521. Judging people who use the table of contents in their Bible.

Posts 501-600

#501. Giving up stuff for Lent.

#502. Confessing safe sins.

#503. Taking out Jesus’ trash.

#504. Church hopping.

#505. Visiting people at the hospital.

#506. Asking God if He wants you to go on an adventure.

#507. The sound guy neck crane.

#508. Emotionally Confused Church Services.

#509. A tenuous relationship with St. Patrick’s Day.

#510. Apologizing after an April Fool’s Day prank.

#511. Feeling slightly guilty for telling people “good luck.”

#512. Thinking you’re naked.

#513. Using your palm branch as a weapon of mass sibling destruction.

#514. Christian end zone touchdown celebrations.

#515. Taking a sympathy scoop from the dish no one eats at the pot luck.

#516. Jokes about sex during wedding ceremonies.

#517. Forgetting how exponential God is.

#518. Being slightly terrified of certain books of the Bible.

#519. Wearing matching t-shirts at the beach.

#520. The worship leader mini sermon.

#521. Judging people who use the table of contents in their Bible.

#522. Going far too quietly.

#523. Singing with your eyes closed.

#524. Photocopying whatever that successful church is doing.

#525. Not knowing whether to pray before a dinner party with strangers.

#526. The Swiss Army Knife Volunteer.

#527. Thinking God needs you.

#528. Calling someone “anointed.”

#529. Manly man retreats.

#530. Buying a new Bible. (The 9 easy questions you need to ask yourself.)

#531. Good cop, bad cop youth group leaders.

#532. Arguing about why bad things happen to good people.

#533. Pastoral Search Committees.

#534. Fancy Electronic Bibles

#535. Communion Tray Etiquette.

#536. Having a very specific idea of what certain people from the Bible looked like.

#537. Forgetting that you are famous.

#538. Getting tricked into volunteering for VBS.

#539. Doubting doubt.

#540. Feeling guilty about giving your bulletin back to an usher after church.

#541. Making an idol out of sports.

#542. Gospel gift bags for first time visitors.

#543. Throwing out disclaimers before you recommend something secular.

#544. Taking the college years off.

#545. Pastors who tell you how hott their wives are.

#546. The church secretary, the most powerful person in the church.

#547. Wishing being a Christian meant a pain free life.

#548. Throwing the B card.

#549. The essential cast of a great mission trip.

#550. Surviving church as a single.

#551. The Confessorati

#552. Judging pop culture as if we’re immune to it.

#553. Wanting to yell, “I still love Jesus!” when you run into someone from the small group you quit.

#554. Doing things that are “not very Christian.”

#555. Making up a prayer request because everyone else has one.

#556. Asking our kids to be a mini Jesus.

#557. Creating tracts that look like money.

#558. Saying you were going to preach a different sermon but God changed it at the last minute.

#559. Davey and Goliath.

#560. Writing twitter messages that sound 14% holier than you usually are.

#561. Wishing there was a socially acceptable way to buy rum for cakes.

#562. Making God almost all powerful.

#563. Keeping at least one non believer friend around strictly for witnessing purposes.

#564. The 11 people every youth group needs.

#565. Developing a sixth sense to locate free food at church.

#566. Discounting our small steps toward stupid.

#567. Opening your eyes in church when you’re supposed to be praying.

#388. The 11 signs of a wicked awesome mission trip.

#569. The sermon illustration score card.

#570. Getting disappointed when you don’t have a life changing moment on a retreat.

#571. Using “we live in a fallen world” as an excuse not to do anything about it.

#572. Getting kids ready for Sunday School.

#573. Anxiously awaiting AutoTune to infect Christianity.

#574. Grumbling.

#575. Refusing the gift of the desert road.

#576. Hand dancing.

#577. Surviving church as a married couple without kids.

#578. Treating the announcements at church like an open mic night at a comedy club.

#579. Forgiving people who didn’t apologize.

#580. Sleeping with spiders.

#581. Thinking pre-marital counseling is for everyone and post-marital counseling is for failures.

#582. Reading books that are not the Bible.

#583. Feeling guilty for not homeschooling your kids.

#584. Planning the ultimate Christian wedding.

#585. Thinking God will run out of welcome home banners.

#586. Not forgiving Amy Grant nearly fast enough.

#587. Booty, God, Booty, and the 4 word gospel.

#588. The Sexy Sermon Series

#589. Judging people who watch television.

#590. Learning the same lesson over and over again.

#591. The things your kid brings home from Sunday School.

#592. Taking the pursuit of holiness too far.

#593. Being a Christian culture snob.

#594. Confessing a sin to someone who has no idea what you’re talking about.

#595. Praying something bad will happen to someone so they’ll see how good God is.

#596. Quitting your job so you can follow the Lord with all your heart.

#597. Wondering what your pastor does all day.

#598. Trying to wake up an early morning crowd at church.

#599. Feeling guilty for feeling angry.

#600. Asking God geography questions.

Happy Thanksgiving

It’s Thanksgiving in the United States today. I’m in Pensacola, Florida with my family and hope you’re with people you dig as well. Instead of a regular post. I thought we could just spend the next few days sharing what we’re thankful for.

Regular SCL will return on Monday, but for now, here is a list of unedited items I’ve written under my thanksgiving list in my quiet time journal. I write out the ACTS prayer method (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication) each morning. It helps keep my scattered mind straight-ish.

Here are some random things I’ve been thankful for the last few weeks:

1. Abraham Piper’s support of the Vietnam project.

2. That Bred Bretz liked the script I wrote. (I wrote a short script for North Point Community Church and Brad gave me a thumbs up on it.)

3. My wife. I love her and love that she’s in my life.

4. For in-laws who love our kids.

5. For the lunch with Stacy from Louisville’s family.

6. Air to breathe, a head that bursts from the pillow.

7. The success of my dad’s church.

8. That we have money to give.

9. The Jeff Henderson sermon at church about being faithful to work

10. God loves me.

11. That I have a job to get to go to each morning.

12. Getting tackled in the front yard by my daughters when I got home from work.

13. That I have parents who love me.

14. The book idea for book number 2

15. The continuing clarity of the mission of Stuff Christians Like

16. The new building at work we’re moving to is close to the old one and my commute won’t change.

And this last 18 days has been an amazing season, love that Christian word, of thankfulness for the generosity of Stuff Christians Like readers. We’ve raised $50,000 toward our goal of $60,000 for kids we don’t know, in a land most of us will never visit to build two kindergartens. Please know that hundreds of 5 and 6 year olds in Vietnam are thankful for you right now. I am humbled that I get to be a part of this community.

How about you?

What are you thankful for this year?

Not recognizing our cars.

It’s always good to have a friend who is a cop and I’m excited to say I just met one. His daughter goes to kindergarten with mine and we walked around together on Halloween night. I peppered him with the kind of questions a 7-year old boy would ask McGruff the crime dog but he humored me. And then, he told me something a little surprising …

International drug cartels use caravans of different cars to run drugs through Georgia.

I read about that in article but secretly hoped the organizational savvy of cartels that are now using a Wal-Mart approach to outsourcing their crimes was exaggerated. He assured me it was not. Here’s how it works:

When a drug cartel is going to drive drugs up from Miami or Texas, they use three different cars …

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We hit $50,000! Zakk got some new stuff.

phase 6

Is it a European carry all?

Is it a satchel?

Is it a man bag?

Is it a murse?

Nope, it’s just another step toward hitting $60,000 and building two kindgartens in Vietnam.

We met our last micro goal of $3,000 which means Zakk, our Metrosexual Worship Leader, is rocking a new man bag and some product in his hair. And because artist Wes Molebash is brilliant, he even tightened Zakk’s jeans for this round.

We’ve got less than $3,000 until we hit our next micro goal.

We’ve got less than $10,000 until we’re finished with our entire goal.

We’ve got a lot of reasons to be thankful this Thanksgiving.

I’m continually awed that we raised $50,000 in 16 days. I’ve already cued Europe’s “Final Countdown” as we march toward the final goal $60,000.

Click here to donate.

Resisting the vampire invasion.

Last week I spoke at the Clemson University Fellowship of Christians Athletes. There were maybe 500 or 600 people.

To me, that felt like about 27,000

The folks at Clemson told me that was small.

I can’t believe what they’ve got going on there. On most Thursday nights, 800-1,200 students are filing into that auditorium and there’s not an adult in sight. It’s all student led. At 33 I was one of the oldest people in the room. It was just amazing.

But why was attendance so low the night I spoke?

Because I have a unibrow? Nope.

Because the smarter/hotter of the two Acuffs, my wife, did not come with me? Nope.

Because Thursday is “must see TV” night? Nope.

Those are all good guesses, but the reason attendance was about half the size it should have been is pretty simple …

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Seeing your pastor in the wild.

You probably shouldn’t have a list of “favorite pastors,” but I do, and Pete Wilson is on it.

He’s one of the pastors of Cross Point Church in Nashville and is perhaps the nicest person I have ever met. In addition, he’s also one of the funniest and recently told me a story I wanted to share with you.

One Sunday night, Pete was headed back to church to preach the 6:00 service. On his way there he stopped at Blockbuster to rent a movie. As he walked through the door, the guy behind the counter recognized him and told him how much he loved Cross Point. They chatted for a minute and then Pete walked down an aisle. Twenty feet into the store and another shopper stopped him to talk about church. Turns out that guy went to Cross Point as well. It seemed as if everyone in that Blockbuster attended Pete’s church.

After a few minutes of conversation, Pete made it to the wall of New Releases. Suddenly he felt a tap on his shoulder, and heard a woman say, “Excuse me.” Believing that this was perhaps another member of Cross Point church, Pete turned, gave the woman a warm side hug and said, “Hey, what’s going on?”

Looking a little startled, the woman, paused, raised the movie in her hand, and said, “I wanted to ask if you had seen this movie.”

She didn’t know Pete. She didn’t attend his church. She wanted a movie recommendation. What she got was a side hug.

I love that story, but I think it highlights a question we all have deep down:

What do we do when we see our pastors out in the wild?

How are we supposed to react? It’s kind of like the first time you see your second grade teacher at Applebee’s and you want to run up and ask, “Why aren’t you at school right now Miss Grondin? Isn’t that where you live? You’re going to put a rip in the fabric of time unless you get back to Cox Street Elementary School immediately.”

And since those pastors in the wild moments can be so awkward I came up with 4 things you can do when you see your pastor outside of church ….

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