#641. Getting mad when someone interrupts your quiet time with God.

What? Who is calling me this early? Which one of my friends is up right now and not engaged in a quiet time, like I am? Sweaty heathen. And they’re calling me?

I’m not answering the phone. I’m in the middle of a quiet time. Come on, stop calling. I see your number, I know your name, we’ll talk later. I’m in the middle of a quiet, reflective moment with God. I need a prayer closet. No forget that, I need a prayer bunker. Possibly somewhere under ground. Maybe a prayer lair that spits on fog from one of the fog machines they use in youth groups. Fine, I’ll pick up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Yeah, I’m just doing my quiet time right now. What are you doing?”

Pause.

“Oh you’re driving to work? Cool, well it’s been good talking to you. I’m going to get back to this quiet time. I’ll call you later. No, seriously, I want to hear about the divorce you’re going through but I’ll give you a call after I’m done reading God’s word. Yeah, I gotta go” …

Wow, the nerve of that guy. I’m trying to learn about God and how to love people and build community and he’s totally interrupting me.

“Knock, knock.”

“Who is it? Oh, it’s you L.E., you need to go back to bed. It’s too early to get up. You know you need to sleep until 7 on a Saturday. And no, you can’t watch ‘Calliou’ or ‘Cry-ou’ as someone put it. That kid is afraid of air. Plus, daddy is trying to do his quiet time. I can’t play right now. I don’t have time, I’m reading the Bible. Stop knocking. Go ask mommy that question.”

Pause.

“Knock, knock.”

“Seriously, talk to your mother. I’ll be downstairs in a few minutes. I don’t know how many teeth a giraffe has and if they can run faster than a dolphin can swim. I won’t lie to you, it’s a legit question, but you’re not respecting the sanctity of the moment right now. Sanctity means, never mind. JENNY, can you please get the kids to go downstairs? I’m trying to worship God right now!