#327. Conferences, AKA the Christian Prom. Remix
Last week I attended the Catalyst Conference, one of the most amazing conferences I have ever been to. If you’ve never been, imagine if you put Billy Graham, a U2 concert, 4 sticks of dynamite, worship music and 100 gallons of awesome into a blender and hit “puree.” It’s like that.
It’s also a little like the Christian Prom, every conference is to some degree. Though it’s been above 15 years since I rocked a rented tuxedo at the Saint John’s prom in Worcester, Massachusetts, the similarities between the two events are pretty stunning …
The Hair:
Prom
In the south, when it’s prom time, girls get “up do’s.” Which I think is Latin for “complicated vertical hair.” I don’t remember if I did anything fancy for my head when it was prom time for me. Probably just rocked the Tony Hawk long on one side haircut, like I was prone to do.
Christian Conference
You get a haircut a few days before in anticipation of looking so fresh and so clean at the conference and make sure your gel supply is well stocked. Granted I participated in hair roulette, that dangerous barber game you play any time you go to Sports Clips since you never know which person is going to be cutting your hair, but trust me on this one. Thousands of guys in Atlanta last week, including myself, were deliberately messing up their hair to make it look accidentally messed up.
The Pre Parties & After Parties:
Prom
You might never see these events on an official schedule, but one of the big draws of the Prom are the pre parties and after parties. Where’s everyone meeting before we go to the Prom? Is anyone going anywhere after? When the music dies and the last song is played, whose house/restaurant/hollow in the woods are we all going to?
Christian Conference
You run into a friend at the conference and ask him if he wants to go to lunch. He immediately says, “I’m going to that special lunch with that famous blogger/author/pastor.” Outwardly, if your name is Jon Acuff you think, “Oh cool. I hope you have a good time.” Inwardly you think, “Aww man, I knew there was an after party I was missing. There’s always crazy fun mini events going on that I don’t know about.”
The Dancing:
Prom
You dance, dance, dance the night away. And is there anything better than dancing in a tuxedo? Yes, actually, there is. Everything is better than dancing in a tuxedo. And those rental shoes are like torture chambers for your feet. Very difficult to do the windmill or any other complicated breakdancing moves in a rented tuxedo. And if you own your own tuxedo in high school, you’re probably an international spy and in some Eastern bloc country on a mission during the weekend of the Prom. But there will be dancing.
Christian Conference
You dance at conferences, maybe. This depends in large part of the specific conference you go to. If you attend the “John Lithgow Footloose Commemorative No Dancing Conference” you probably shouldn’t Bust a Move like your name was Young MC. Otherwise, break it down in the aisles, especially at Catalyst because the worship leaders play with abandon and aren’t afraid to dance up on stage if the moment hits them.
The Transportation:
Prom
You rent a vehicle you never usually ride in, like a limo, and just have a good time. It’s like a road trip, with you and your friends being silly singing along to Miley Cyrus and Lil’ Wayne as you make your way to the prom.
Christian Conference
You borrow a vehicle you never usually ride in, like the church van, and just have a good time. It’s like a road trip, with you and your friends being silly singing along to Chris Tomlin and Carman as you make your way to the conference.
The Clothes:
Prom
It’s dress up time. You get a big, crazy dress with loads of cool little details that say I have arrived! If you’re a guy you rent a tuxedo and try to act cool like you wear cummerbunds all the time.
Christian Conference
It’s dress up time. You buy a hip shirt with those cowboy buttons and intricate little stitching or maybe a graphic t-shirt and try to act cool like you wear a Castro style revolution hat all the time.
The Date:
Prom
Ohhhh, we are so nervous. Will that girl say yes when we ask her to come to the prom? Will it change our relationship? Will being there together and hearing how romantic the music Extreme plays change the way we function? So many questions! So exciting! (Yes, that was a “More than words” reference.)
Christian Conference
Ohhhh, we are so nervous. Will the worship minister say “yes” when we ask him to come to the conference? Will it change the relationship? Will being there together and hearing how fast and upbeat the music Fee plays change the way our worship functions at church? So many questions! So exciting!
Those are the ways I think Conferences are like the Christian Prom. Did I miss a way?
How do you think Conferences are like the Christian Prom?
