Thats one of the most ridiculous/strangest things I have ever read.

Putting yourself in a one to one situation with a member of the opposite sex isn’t setting you up to start an affair there are sooo many other variables involved. “attraction” for a start.

Otherwise you’d have to stop me (female) being alone with my brother because ZOMG he’s a male and I’m going to have sex with him.

/sarcasm

I think the best approach is to think about what Paul said about eating meat sacrificed to idols; avoid those things which tempt you strongly that you know are wrong… but if something is not a temptation for you, then don’t burden yourself with unnecessary legalism. I occasionally drink, and it doesn’t tempt me; I forget about it for weeks at a time, so it’s not something I need to avoid. Married men don’t tempt me, so I feel no need to put up barriers to friendship.

And last but not least, back to the actual sex aspect of it. Most of my life has probably been over-sexualized, so I'm intensely aware of the ease with which a seemingly healthy dynamic can go horribly wrong. I do see the wisdom in not commuting with someone for an hour a day, everyday when there is even a hint that a strong friendship could develop. I see the wisdom in not bellyaching about your spouse to another woman/ man. Because I know how easy it is to start getting needs met by someone who isn't supposed to be meeting those needs.

I'm divorced because of a cheating spouse, like many others. But it wasn't the availability of an attractive woman that did him in, it wasn't circumstance or poorly made preventive rules that did him in….it was choices. He was very careful and devoted until the day he decided not to be. All the self imposed rules in the world only work when you choose to enforce them. The minute a person doesn't wish to enforce them anymore, they won't work. Our problems started way before the first affair, they started when we wanted more from each other than was possible for a person to give. They escalated when we romanticized OTHER people as probably being better listeners, talkers, etc. than each other. They spiraled out of control when he decided that he was missing something that he deserved to have. Sadly, that something was beyond my power to give or really even my knowledge that it was missing. It wasn't a full frontal hug that pushed him over the edge, lol, it was his decision to satisfy himself despite knowledge of right and wrong.

I could get extreme with it and never allow myself or any future spouse to be around people of the opposite sex, but that wouldn't fix it either because it's not proximity of available women to interested men that causes sexual sin. Some father's misuse their daughter before their daughters are even old enough to know what is going on. I am painfully aware of that crossed boundary. Should someone have created a rule that disallowed me from being with my parent? Hundreds (maybe thousands) of priests have misused their position to molest people of the same and opposite sex, age irrelevant. We Protestants aren't immune, we are just independent enough that it's not a worldwide scandal. Can we make a rule that all people should interact in sets of 3s just to be sure no potentially deviant pair is alone together? Of course not, and I know that's not at all what the blogger here is thinking about. He is just thinking about being careful as he can in his own situation, which is admirable. But reading about everybody's situation certainly helped me to reflect deeply into my own.

I don't think that there is anything that I could have done or can do now to insulate myself from the pain and temptations to sin that are bound to seek me out….but I have went too far into the direction of trying to avoid the temptation and I appreciated this opportunity to look inside and realize that I can't run from my own temptations to sin. I am hurting others more than I'm helping myself even while I close them out to avoid sinning against them.

If anybody ever comes back to this thread, thanks for the conversation.