#609. Using the "thorn in the flesh" verse as a get out of jail free card.

I know, I know, it’s an issue. I’ve been struggling with this for a while now, but what are you going to do, thorn in the flesh, you know?

What’s that? You don’t know the thorn in the flesh get out of jail free card? Are you sure you’re a Christian? This is a little embarrassing. For you.

In 2 Corinthians 12:7-9 Paul writes:
“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

You don’t have to be a biblical scholar to see what Paul was talking about. Clearly Paul had a struggle with lust. How do I know that? Did I interpret the Greek or the Hebrew? Did I read some sort of lost Aramaic translation that mentioned “nudey ladies?” Not exactly. I’m positive that Paul struggled with lust because that’s what I struggle with. That was a metaphor Paul wrote for me, which was kind of him.

So what I like to do when I mess up is to grumble for a minute and then shrug my shoulders and proclaim, “stupid thorn in the flesh!” Sometimes I kick a small pile of rocks in frustration only there’s not a small pile of rocks everywhere I go so I keep some in my pants pockets at all times just in case. I kick the rocks, frown, quote the verse and then move on without changing my actions or behavior or attitude.

Now I’ve heard people argue that Paul might have had a physical ailment. That the thorn in his flesh might have been epilepsy, or migraines or just a really pathetic vertical leap. Seriously, no ups. But I’m not so sure and to tell you the truth I don’t have any of those three issues. I mean you’ve seen me on the court, I’m like a white Mugsy Bogues.

Nah, I’m pretty sure it was lust that Paul struggled with. Unless you struggle with something else and then we’re at a bit of a standstill. Because if you struggle with lying and I struggle with lust and we both want to claim “it’s all good, it’s just a thorn in the flesh” status, we’re in trouble.

We don’t have a lot of options here either. Do you want to rock, paper, scissor for rights to the verse? Maybe we could pretend that Paul actually fell into a pricker bush and had 37 thorns in his side so that you, me and all our friends can avoid a bit of culpability? I’m open to suggestions. Really, I am.

p.s. Thanks for the fun idea Elizabeth