Anger is a sin right? It’s one of those “instant-sins” where you go right to confession, do not pass go, no gray zone, we’re talking S to the I to the N.
We can agree on that right? That’s what I thought, which is why I feel so bad right now because I got really angry at a friend.
I wish anger wasn’t such an instant sin. I know as a Christian it’s an immediate failure and that if you feel angry you should confess it pronto and turn that frown upside and sing the song “Good Morning, Good Morning,” from the movie Singin’ in the Rain and maybe swing around a streetlight but sometimes I don’t want to.
I know Jesus cleared the temple with the whip, and that if I had a group of money lenders to clear right now I would be justified in my anger. I could just go on a rampage of tables and whips and coins flying and probably yell “It’s Jesus time, and I brought the Sons of Thunder with me,” but that’s not exactly what happened to me. A friend was just a jerk and since I felt angry I’m bumming God out big time right now. Smile, Jon, smile. Be cool, be cool.
Too late, now I feel guilty for being anger.
Now what was just a grumpy feeling is now growing and spiraling out of control akin to Bruce Banner in the Incredible Hulk. Why didn’t he wear those colorful weight lifting pants all the time? It seems like he created an unnecessary amount of cut off jean shorts and he could have avoided the whole thing by wearing pants with a flexible waistband. (And the “necessary amount” of cut off jean shorts for men is zero by the way. Great, you’re reading this and you’re wearing cut off jean shorts right this second and now you’re angry at me and you’re feeling guilty too.) Don’t get distracted Jon, stay focused.
Oh but I can’t because I started to feel angry, which made me feel like I had failed as a Christian. My counselor said that we all have feelings about feelings. And my feeling about anger is guilt. So when I get angry I feel guilty. I feel like a sub-par Christian which makes me feel angrier because I hate to fail and that increased anger just adds more guilt. And now I’m stuck in a moment and now I can’t get out of it. Stay out of this Bono, even your lyrical Irishness is not going to remedy this situation like Jason Mraz. Ohh I’m so angry my pop culture references are bumping into each other like celebrities that are confused by the tango on the show Dancing with the Stars.
It’s just like Ephesians 4:26 says, “Your anger is a sin.” It says it right there, clear as day. What’s that? I’ve misinterpreted that verse? The verse actually says “In your anger do not sin?” It actually separates anger from sin and anger might even be a healthy, normal emotion to feel and deal with instead of stuffing down? Are you challenging my Bible knowledge? Is that what this is? Ugh, I am so angry at you right now.
You should be glad the waistband of these pants is elastic because it’s about to get ugly in here.