#588. The Sexy Sermon Series.

If Zondervan lets me write a second book, I’ll probably title it “How to grow a huge church in 1 easy step.” And inside the book, which I will insist on having my picture on, will be a single piece of paper. (Talk about being green!) And on that piece of paper will be the secret to instant church growth.

Want to know it? Want a sneak peek or really I guess it’s not a peek so much as it is the whole book? Here it is:

“If you want to grow your church instantly, do a sermon series about sex.”

Many of you have probably already stopped reading this post and are currently hanging billboards around your town advertising the new sermon series your church is going to do. But maybe that book needs a second page. Maybe that one sentence is not enough. Maybe it’s not easy to name a sex sermon series. So I did some research and put together a little quiz that will hopefully help you think through what you should title your series. Below are a bunch of names for sex sermon series, including some websites. Some are real and are from actual churches. Some are fake and are from my head. See if you can guess which ones are which:

Sexy sermon series or something Jon made up?

1. “Yourultimatelover.com”
A. That’s a real sermon series.
B. Jon made that up.

2. “Great Sex for You”
A. That’s a real sermon series.
B. Jon made that up.

3. “Bringing Sexy Back”
A. That’s a real sermon series.
B. Jon made that up.

4. “Electric Sex”
A. That’s a real sermon series.
B. Jon made that up.

5. “Whatsbetweenthesheets.com”
A. That’s a real sermon series.
B. Jon made that up.

6. “Desperatesexlives.com”
A. That’s a real sermon series.
B. Jon made that up.

7. “Solomon is the OT’s version of the musician Prince. Love notes from a man whose awesomeness with the ladies eventually brought him to ruin.”
A. That’s a real sermon series.
B. Jon made that up.

How’d you do? Want the answer key? OK, they’re all real. Each one of those titles was from a church sermon series. Whoa, curve ball. I zigged right when you were expecting a zag, I bobbed when you were expecting a weave, I Marloned Wayans right when you were expecting me to Kenan Ivory Wayans. Or maybe you saw through the whole thing, even the fake one I threw in at the end.

I’m not sure what the approach some churches are taking with the subject of sex says about us. Are we talking about it too much? Are we using it as a subject because it garners lots of attention? Or are we not talking about it enough?

I’m torn on this one. On the one hand, the world has a loud, noisy, colorful campaign about sex. They are constantly bombarding us with messages about it and for us to remain silent or to allow the world to try to claim that topic as their own domain seems foolish. I cheer that the churches on this list are sharing God’s word with our culture with creativity and funk. But at the same time, I think it’s really tempting to use that topic as a neon sign that will attract people to a topic but maybe not the Lord. Pastor Craig Groeschel dropped some bombs on this subject at a conference I went to when he talked about the foolishness of doing a sex sermon series just as a way to make your church look cool. And I confess that even as a silly blogger it’s tempting to write about controversial subjects in the hope that controversy will attract more eyeballs.

Where do you stand on that?

Does the church talk about sex too much?

Or not enough?