Comments on: Best marriage advice you’ve ever heard? A short Saturday question.

By: Pineapple Prince | mygrandmalife

Pineapple Prince | mygrandmalife — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 21:53:42 +0000

[...] appreciate slack-key guitar, the ocean, turtles, beaches, coffee, marriage, bad puns, and [...]

By: Guest2

Guest2 — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 13:49:22 +0000

As soon as possible, discuss your big impossible fantasy dreams. Don't dismiss them as unrealistic and forfeitted just because you got married. If you've always wanted to travel somewhere or do something, tell your spouse, and encourage him/her to share their dreams. With any luck, you'll have the same big wild dream and will get to share it together. If your dreams don't match, you can each encourage the other to fulfill their dream, and maybe you'll even tag along for the ride and enjoy it, too. There's no reason to die disappointed, having never accomplished it. Make each other's dreams happen.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 20:38:29 +0000

When my husband and I got married, we were both virgins, which was awesome. However, we ended up facing a lot of medical and emotional issues with sex that totally caught us off guard, and we spent the first year of our marriage feeling pretty devastated. Given how much our society focuses on sex, we felt like something was terribly wrong with us. It was awful. I know this does not happen to everyone or even most people, but as it happened to us, I feel like I want to give this advice to anyone who might read this and be going through the same thing:

There is nothing wrong with you. You are dealing with issues that you couldn't anticipate. Go to the doctor, go to a counselor, do what you need to do, but know that this will get better. This will get to be more fun. You love each other, and you can get through this. And remember, God is not punishing you for anything. God is with you. God wants you to have an awesome sex life just as much as you do. Don't stop talking to him about how you feel.

I know this seems like a downer, but I wish anyone had said this to me as a newlywed. If it helps one anonymous person, I'm glad I said it.

By: Becky

Becky — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 02:00:21 +0000

Something that I have found to be helpful in a marriage is to not give up to easily. Even when things get to it's bleakest there is still hope. My friend and her husband went through a horrible time when she found that her husband had an addiction to pornography. Most wives would give up however she decided to give her husband the chance to seek help. They found help in Victoria Prater and Garry Prater's book "Love and Pornography." It takes love, compassion and understanding to maintain a marriage.

By: The Sparrow

The Sparrow — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 21:33:40 +0000

In a world (post with comments) full of references to marriage books and some incarnation of the 100%-100% idea, I'd like to refer to something a little different.

In the buddy cop movie Bad Boys, Will Smith is listening to his partner's marriage problems, and suddenly cuts in with, "Yo, marriage is easy. You've only got one woman to please." Or something very much like that.

Obviously marriage isn't easy, and I should probably point out that I'm not actually married. However, in my experience, making your priority pleasing that one woman has worked out rather well.

By: Jonathan

Jonathan — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 10:33:03 +0000

To me, "if you think that other grass is greener, then you have just look at the grass at a glance"

By: Jo

Jo — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 10:31:41 +0000

I heard it is "Don't focus on the negative things" and "put commitment above love".

By: JT

JT — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 10:03:12 +0000

My dad's a pastor and performed the ceremonies for my brother's, sister's, and our wedding. At my brother's he gave his bride a fine paint brush and my brother a broad one and explained that Ryan's authority only gave him the ability to paint the broad strokes of the portrait of their lives. Lydia's fine paintbrush gave her the freedom to paint all the finer details and highlights. It would absolutely take both to finish the painting. At my sister's wedding he gave Eric a Matchbox SUV and Emily a cool convertible. The point was that Eric would occasionally have to give up cool for functional, or utility. And not that my sister wouldn't have to sacrifice anything, but that she was to be treasured, like an expensive sportscar should be. You can't get everything done you need to in a convertible. And hardly will an SUV the perfect choice 100% of the time, again pointing out that both are essential in completing tasks.

My wife is an engineer. I'm a pharmacist. My dad gave me a mortar and pestle and my wife a compass. I don't have a clue what he said to us that day. I would suggest that what you share is likely to have a bigger impact on those attending than those participating in the ceremony. I'm not sure if that's advice for you or something you can share, but it's my two cents...

By: Jason P

Jason P — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 20:27:28 +0000

The pastor at my old church uses the three phrases that every couple needs to know:

"I was wrong"
"I apologize."
"I love you."

My father was unable to attend my sister's wedding, and I was asked to fill his shoes by providing the toast to the bride. I was single at the time, and I wanted to provide them some advice on how to have a happy marriage...so i asked around. These are true:

From a man at a coffee shop, "If the dish towels are marked HIS and HIS...don't marry her."

Then i asked a couple from the church that had been married for over 60 years. I asked them seperately what the key to a happy marriage was, they both answered that "they married the most amazing person in the world."

So my advice to them was to keep right on believing that you have married the most amazing, incredible, perfect person for you in the world...even when they aren't acting like that person.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 19:32:01 +0000

@anonymous July 1, 2009 4:01 PM

Couldn't agree more. The church who were there for us nearly 10 years when we got married have all but washed their hands of us because of our reaction to our infertility. We can't have children through no fault of our own but I honestly think we would have had more support if one of us had been unfaithful. I suppose they consider our disappointment, diagnosed depression and suicide attempts to be selfish and unholy. I feel that we have been punished (by God?) twice, firstly in losing our future, and secondly by losing our Church family, friends and finally faith. I love my husband more than ever but we are both so alone now.