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#559. Davey and Goliath

June 12, 2009 in church culture,guest posts with 40 Comments

(Curtis went old school on this guest post, but he recently returned from a trip to Ireland so I think he’s trying to seek out his roots. Big fan of Curtis, laughed out loud when I saw the two pictures he sent with this post. Hope you enjoy.)

Davey and Goliath
If you were a Christian claymation fan anytime in the ‘60s, then you probably know all about Davey and Goliath. D&G were the Christian response to the godless Gumby and Pokey cartoons. Never heard of them? Well, I’ll do a quick recap: Goliath is Davey’s dog who can talk, although only Davey can hear him. Davey plays in a handbell choir at his church, broke a dinosaur skeleton at the museum one time, and always learns lessons about doing the right thing. Goliath is a dog who can roller skate and is so big that he makes medium-sized horses look like miniature pony babies.

‘Tis the season for star-studded movies, so I’m currently writing a summer blockbuster movie script, bringing back Davey and Goliath in a big screen bonanza called “Davey and Goliath: The Live Action 3D Feel Good Supermovie!” And, yes, the exclamation point is part of the title.

Here’s the cast: Shia LaBeouf as Davey, Scooby Doo as Goliath, Dakota Fanning as Sally, Davey’s tag along little sister, Kate Winslet as his idyllic mother, and (drumroll please)…

…Andy Stanley as Davey’s dad! I couldn’t believe it when I put them side by side:


Here’s a sample scene from the movie, as Davey is having trouble adjusting to public school and the twenty-first century:

Davey: “Gee, I don’t know. Dad and mom told me that cell phones will make your ears fall off.”

Public School Kid: “Come on, Davey, all the kids here have one! Don’t you want to be like one of us?”

School Kids: “One of us! One of us! One of us!”

Davey: (picks up the phone as his thumbs start moving) “I… I have the strangest feeling coming over me. I must text. OMG! “(Davey’s thumbs turn into a blur as he starts texting all of his new secular friends)

Goliath: “Davey, no! But I thought I was your best friend! And I don’t even have thumbs. We were supposed to go frolfing after school!”

Davey: “I go to public school now, Goliath. Stop being such a spaz!”

Goliath: “OH DAVEY!” (Goliath runs away into the woods)

…You get the idea.

I need an ending. Can you write it for me? I’ll give the person with the best ending a cut of the ticket sales.

(For more from Curtis, check out his blog justwallpaper.wordpress.com)