Comments on: Saving seats at church.

By: Texas

Texas — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 06:37:45 +0000

I just wanted to comment on this old post that I am a single person that has been attending a Catholic church for three years and have never felt left out because of my marital status. One of the things that solidifies the community is that while people attend Mass with their families, they often participate in different ministries individually according to what they feel called to do. They also have men’s and women’s retreats separately, in addition to family and couples’ retreats. Perhaps branching out and getting involved with something outside of Sunday services would help some single people feel more a part of the community. As far as sermons being directed to family life, I have never felt this way, perhaps because I try to apply what is said to my life in some way – in many cases I can reflect on my family relationships even though I am not married – or perhaps because our pastor makes a special effort to reach out to everyone. I hope I have left some comments that might help some single people out there feel included. And for the record, I hate saving seats, too.

By: Sadie

Sadie — Mon, 18 May 2009 06:52:00 +0000

There use to be a row for my family, i.e. the usual spot for the X family and everyone knew it. Now my siblings have married and moved away. (Yeah for them). My Dad leads worship and my Mom is in the nursery nearly every Sunday and I do AV(for purely selfish reasons as the AV room is the warmest place in church). The rare Sunday I don’t do AV I rotate spots and sections in the church. Even as a single gal I don’t have to worry about the whole awkward sitting with a single guy thing as the only single guys are a full decade younger than me.
It still amazes me how my insecurites come out in church.
I once heard an older woman in my church bemoan the fact she wasn’t able to sit in her usual seat one Sunday, she was afraid the pastor wouldn’t know she was at church and judge her for missing a Sunday.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 17 May 2009 03:46:00 +0000

Jon, I’m just so relieved you didn’t end that post with only 6 ideas

By: Krista

Krista — Sat, 16 May 2009 08:12:00 +0000

In the days of hymnbooks we used to throw those down to save seats. I guess that’s harder to do with the video projector now being the norm.

I think #7 should have been don’t save seats where someone else usually sits. You know,those people who insist on sitting in the same seats in the same pew week by week? It could get ugly if you mess with their routine.

By: Carrie

Carrie — Fri, 15 May 2009 18:59:00 +0000

Agree with all the single folks. It’s tough being single in church these days. And saving seats…well…that can be a real pain. I’m just glad I’ve got friends to sit with. But when they’re out of town, I’m left sitting alone which is not fun. But oh well…I guess I just have to get over it.

By: Funny videos

Funny videos — Thu, 14 May 2009 18:57:00 +0000

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By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 14 May 2009 16:28:00 +0000

riaellegrazi:

I agree...those attitudes do not promote unity at all. But when you say this,

"but it is still humiliating to think that a good deal of them secretly think something is wrong with me and that nobody wants me."

it makes me wonder if people are really actually thinking this about you or is this something you think about yourself and assume others are thinking it too?

If I hit a bad note during a worship song, I assume the entire congregation 1) heard it and it totally ruined their moment with God and 2) they all now hate me and want me to leave the praise team and the church. LOL. In reality, no one even noticed.

I bet no one is thinking there's something wrong with you. If anything they probably just want for everyone else to be as happy as they are.

I just don't want singles to assume marrieds are thinking badly of them. I don't think many actually are. We don't pity anyone. We don't think we are better than anyone. We are, however, just like everyone else...trying to let God invade every shadowy place in our heart.

We are all on the same team! =)

~Mrs. Anon

By: Jake Barreth

Jake Barreth — Thu, 14 May 2009 05:04:00 +0000

Better to leave a comment of no worth what so ever on a christian blog than leave it with 66 comments. Whose got your back baby?

By: Prodigal Jon

Prodigal Jon — Wed, 13 May 2009 23:36:00 +0000

Anon and others-
First off, very cool to read the back and forth. I really appreciate you guys throwing some ideas out there. Second, I’m working on a post about singles with some of my single friends. I had no idea how much I needed to write another one until people started talking and sharing different angles on the whole thing. Thanks for doing that. The best ideas on this site tend to be the ones that start out when someone says something real. Keep an eye out for that in a few weeks
Jon

By: Alice Wassam

Alice Wassam — Wed, 13 May 2009 21:53:00 +0000

Dear Mrs. Anonymous,
1. I’m fairly certain none of us were blaming YOU for being single. But, on the off chance that someone out there is, I’ll leave it with I’m certainly NOT blaming you. God has me where He has me for this season. I’m cool with that.
2. I’m sorry if you felt anyone was “jumping down your throat” for wanting to save a seat for your husband. I’m feeling certain, again, that that was not anyone’s intention.
3. Yes – church should be family oriented (did someone say it shouldn’t be?). It should also be children oriented, youth oriented, college-age oriented, single oriented… well you get my drift. Please show me where it says, “Upon this rock you shall build my church and it shall be family-oriented only.” Could you imagine a church without a Children’s ministry? Youth ministry?
4. I, for one, am not bitter toward married couples. Most of my closest friends are married. I think everyone, whether single or married, live a much more full and happy life when we surround ourselves with folks who are all in different places in their life. I’m glad you “admired the family unit and messages directed toward marrieds and/or parents.” Maybe you were much more mature as a single than the rest of are.
5. I am not suggesting, AT ALL, that every single sermon be focused on singles. One a year would be GREAT. You can have the other 51 (or 103 if your church has a mid-week service).
6. I think it’s sad, however, that you are assuming that this entire group (some of whom I assume are married) feel “the way they do towards married people.” Which way is that exactly?

So to avoid any further confusion: I love my married friends – I hope to be one someday! I love my single friends – and I’m enjoying being one of those! I, personally, have NO problem with you saving a seat for your husband! And since Jon’s #1 item in a guide to seat saving was:

1. It's OK to save a seat for your spouse or significant other.

I’m thinking we all think it’s ok! So save away, Mrs. Anonymous.