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#549. The Essential Cast of a Great Mission Trip

May 29, 2009 in guest posts,missions with 72 Comments

(If you saw the iBible video recently, then you know Tyler Stanton. He helped write it and was in it. If you’ve attended North Point Community Church at any point in the last 5 years you know Tyler. He’s been in a million funny videos for them. If you went to the West Coast Catalyst you know Tyler. He and Tripp Crosby co-hosted it with Jud Wilhite. To put it mildly, he’s hilarious. As evidenced by this photo of rubber outfits Tripp and Tyler wore at West Coast Catalyst for a skit. When I asked Tyler where they got them he said, “Ebay. We got them a year ago from someone in China for a skit in which we pretend that they make us invisible.” Love it.

I’m a big fan of Tyler. This summer, Tripp, Tyler and I are going to goad each other into doing stand up comedy at some open mic night. Until then, here’s some witty insights from an Atlanta legend.)

The Essential Cast of a Great Mission Trip

It’s mission trip season again, and although there are a million resources that tell you what to bring (passport, fanny pack, hand sanitizer, etc.), no one has really documented the people that are essential to every trip. So as you review the sign-up sheet, make sure the following people are on there. The trip would be incomplete without them.

The Self-Appointed Crew Chief
This guy isn’t the official leader of the trip, but deep down he knows he is the most qualified. He sniffs around, waiting to pounce on any hint of indecision by the trip leader, and make it known that he is really the one in charge.

The Culture Expert
This guy takes advantage of every opportunity to show off the 8 Spanish words he knows. He also thrives on letting you know all the different things you’re doing right this second that are offensive to this culture.

The Mime
There’s always one in the group. This guy brought three extra bags full of costumes, face paint, and Rich Mullins tapes to make sure the mime drama comes to fruition. He spends the vast majority of his time trying to convince the rest of the (oh so hesitant) group that this is a valid and relevant avenue for furthering the Kingdom.
The Hyper-Witnesser
This guy can (and will) manipulate any conversation into a presentation of The Four Spiritual Laws. Don’t you just love Burger King? I used to love wearing those crowns. They were so much more comfortable than…say…a crown of thorns. Hey, speaking of crowns of thorns…

The Drama Queen
This girl somehow manages to suffer from diarrhea, heat exhaustion, and a badly sprained ankle before even getting off the bus. The only time she stops complaining about not being able to bring her hair dryer is when she is complaining about how gross the food is. When a friend confides in her about the deep impact this trip is having on him, she rolls her eyes and responds with “you don’t even know” and one-ups his experience with one of her own.

The Construction Guru
This guy scoffs at your childish attempts to hammer a nail. His favorite way to start a sentence is with “You know if you…” (as in “You know if you hold the nail at a 45 degree angle you won’t continue to embarrass yourself”).

The Photographer
This person holds a deep conviction that capturing action shots of her group is more important than helping provide shelter for Ecuadorian orphans. She manages to go the entire week without picking up a single tool or getting her hands dirty (except for that one time she dropped her lens on the dirt mound).

The Driver
No one has ever been more patronized than this guy. Once people find out his name is Leonard, they obnoxiously refer to him as Leo and slap him on the back every time they exit. He’s not even necessarily part of the group. He just drops everyone off at the appropriate destination and spends the rest of the day at Applebee’s. This poor sap has no idea The Hyper-Witnesser has targeted him as his special project for the week.

The Team Mom
You can spot her giving out band-aids and juice boxes at any given moment. Most of her time on the trip, though, will be eaten up by The Drama Queen, either taping up her ankle or helping her process this new depth of emotion (selflessness) that she’s never before felt.

The Neckers
Their parents made them come on the trip. They only agreed because they were excited about a new place to make out. The rest of The Cast is happy they came for a number of reasons. The Mime thinks this guy would be a great satan in his drama. The Hyper-Witnesser hasn’t been gaining much ground with Leo and sees them as a new target. The Culture Expert likes to let everyone know that’s how they do things in France. And The Photographer knows they’re about to make her Facebook page a lot more popular.

Who did I leave out?

Who else is essential to a mission trip?

And fess up, which one are you?

(For more Tyler, check out http://www.tylerstanton.com/)