Archive - May, 2009

Who are you listening to? A Short Saturday question.

How fantastical are the podcast sermons from Matt Chandler, pastor of the Village Church in Highland Village, Texas?

A few weeks ago my little brother and I road tripped to Tallahassee (which I will forever refer to as “Sassy Tallahassee” having been informed of that rhyme by a delightful bumper sticker) and on the way there and back we listened to Matt Chandler sermons.

I’d like to pretend that kind of thing has happened before. That when my brothers and I go on road trips the three essentials are: Diet Rockstar energy drink, little Debbie cakes riding shotgun, and sermons on the stereo. But that would be a lie. I don’t think we’ve ever listened to a sermon on a road trip before.

That’s how fantastical Matt Chandler is.

But who you listening to? There are a million great pastors out there. Whether it’s your hometown pastor, online or on a podcast or in any other digital round the world wide interwebs kind of way, who do you recommend?

Who are you listening to these days?

Book Winners

Wow the ideas for the iPhone app were great and we’re trying to figure out right now how to make it happen. With the way the economy is we’re either going to design an amazing iPhone app for the Stuff Christians Like book or a sticker. I’m pulling for app.

Here are the three comments that won a new book from Shane Hipps. If you’re on this list please email me your mailing address at theacuffs@yahoo.com with “book winner” in the subject line. The “want to do something for God” book winners are below as well. So make sure you check if you’re one of the lucky (whoops, I mean Godly) 7 winners

3 Winning iPhone App Comments
Nicodemus at Nite said
The Iphone has an app to turn the camera into a barcode scanner.

The SCL app would use the barcode scanner. Say you’re in a Christian book store and you want to see what SCL says about those minty goods that are Testamints. You scan the barcode and it pulls up any blogs that are associated with it for quick laughs. This would be especially handy if the blog pulled up is in the “You can do this, if this happens…” form.

Buying the, “I kissed Dating Goodbye book?” No problem, scan it and the app pulls up a blog to give you some humorous comfort in why you should or shouldn’t buy it.

Etc, etc, etc.

Or it could be used in any store that you see something that SCL may write about, take a pic and it uploads straight to the SCL website. Which then in turn, gives Jon more ideas to write about. The more SCL minions out there scavenging the marketplace, the more ideas, the more humor, turning into more books. And with all that, more minions. It’s a perfect cycle for SCL.

In conclusion, the SCL app with the barcode scanner is really the mark of the beast ;)

Tim DuMont said
First of all I’m typing this before I read any comments so its fresh from my mind and I haven’t stolen any ideas (other than from Jon Acuff, but that is kinda the point… right?).

I think it should be a game where you run a church. You would have to hire staff (a metrosexual worship leader, a crazy youth pastor, and a senior pastor). You would then try to grow the size of your church to a specific number of members or attendees.

Different characters that you could hire would have different styles and stats. One preacher might be funnier, another might be better at teaching. One worship leader might have a country flare, while another would be U2 styled. One youth pastor would be that funny old guy who is still a teenager on the inside, and another youth pastor would be the crazy 25 year old who plays in the X-games in the summer.

After the initial hiring phase, the game moves into a real-time-strategy phase where you have to manage services. This could involve clicking on the worship leader so that he doesn’t spontaneously burst into song, clicking on disruptive church attendees so that deacons will come and remove them, click on the church elders/deacons to have them begin communion.

As a bonus feature or reward for winning the regular game you could also manage the children’s church program in a similar manner.

Prior to each service you could pick a theme for the sermon and music. Depending on what you choose you will attract more or less people the next week.

This also allows for some expansion pack type stuff, like a christmas or easter service version of the game!

There is just so much that could be done. I can’t come up with every idea, but I just think that this would be amazing!

Sam Vimes said
The app needs to be huge and all inclusive. Yes it needs to have simple features like, such as (u.s Americans…. sorry old joke) easy ways to navigate the site thru the iphone, and a links feature to your friends blogs/blogs you admire. But thats childs play. on to the cool stuff.

A face in hole feature, namely one where we look like we’re totally side hugging Jon Acuff creator of the extremely awesome site SCL, so be jealous that we side hugged him. Also one where we look like we’re holding a worship eagle or side hugging one, and side hugging Psalty.

Play by play guides to passing the communion tray (with etiquette guide), closing your eyes during worship, finding out if your friends drink the devil’s bathwat… I mean beer, etc.

A worship eagle that responds to whatever Christian music you are listening to.

A prayer reminder, so you’ll never “forget” to pray for someone when you say you will

Every quiz ever on this site, with live updating in case you make more

bootleg cookie identifier

Church name generator

“godly” breakup excuse generator

a feature that takes your bible verse of choice and turns it into a cross stitch version, for use as a wallpaper

SCL dictionary

Frisbee rule book
relevancy meter, it’ll alert you if you drop below “relevant in the late nineties”

Chick fil-a locator

a booty, God, booty alarm. When you do go booty, God, booty it’ll alert you, so you can get back into the word, you sweaty heathen sinner.

thats all i got for now…. anyways.

4 Winning “Want to do something for God/What did you give up?” Comments

Tracie said
In January 2005 my unsaved husband walked out. At the time I’d been saved nearly six years, and my efforts to share the gospel with him had been met with everything from light teasing to verbal cruelty.

Moments after he left, while I was sobbing in the bathroom, God told me to give up on my marriage. I saw a picture of my own hand, visibly straining to hold a heavy bag. If I let go, it would drop over the edge a sheer cliff.

Then I heard God whisper, “Let it go,” and I realized the bag was my marriage that I’d been working so hard to maintain.

So I let it go, and I watched the bag plummet until I couldn’t see it anymore.
In January 2006–one year later–my husband came to me with tears in his eyes and humbly told me he’d given his life to Jesus Christ. I wasn’t there when he got saved. It had nothing to do with me or my efforts. It was God’s doing entirely.

The year in between my husband’s leaving and his return was difficult (and that’s putting it lightly). But I’d never, ever trade it.

Mikki Black said
We had to give up to go to college.

We had to completely go on faith: we were married and had two kids and were the ripe old age of 24.

While we were there, time after time, we would look at our situation and say, “One of us is going to have to drop out next semester and earn more money.” We knew there was nothing we could do to stay in school. But time after time, God would pull us through.

- needed to win the kindergarten “lottery” to have daughter in full-day instead of half-day. Nothing we could do, but God provided.
- needed to get out of a car payment, but no one was buying our cars, and dealers wouldn’t give us much. Husband won a free car at work. Apparently they put everyone who signed up for benefits into a drawing for a PT Cruiser. God provided.
- our sitter for the first two years had a new baby and couldn’t watch ours anymore. Needed $ for a new one, no way to make more; in fact, I had to quit work to do my student teaching. Mom called out of the blue one day, “I’ve recently come into some $, and I’m pretty sure God wants me to give it to you. Do you need $ right now for something?” We hadn’t told family of our troubles, but again, God provided.

Each time, we had said, “God, if you want this to continue, if you want us to get through college together, we need your help. There’s nothing more we can do.”
And in 3 years, with full class loads, full-time jobs, 2 kids, student teaching, and no money, we both graduated college. Together.

Thanks to God.

Richard said
I was driven to give up my life plan by the haunting words of a mildly successful traveling comedian named Tommy Johnigan.

He performed at my college, before about 100 people. Me and a few friends were convinced to go with this couple who absolutely loved Johnigan. So I was sitting next to a girl I liked, in this half-empty room, kinda bored, and I committed the comic audience cardinal sin… I responded when he asked a question.

Eventually he asked me what my major was, and I told him “History”. He asked me, “Are you gonna teach?” and I said no. He questioned my logic, then asked if I had minors. I had two, political science and French. He responded with what seemed to be genuine concern, calling my degree:

“The Trifecta of Unemployment”

Tommy then asked if I had any hobbies or passions, and I told him I loved music, that I was a musician. He jumped on that, telling me to go and seek out my dream, to “just do something” because he couldn’t see how my degree was helping matters.

Now, I didn’t expect to take career advice from a mildly successful traveling comedian who had lost on Last Comic Standing, but five months later those words rang in my ears. I had spent the last five months interviewing at different places for government jobs, office jobs that I just knew I’d be miserable in. My greatest happiness came in leading worship with my band and at my student ministry, but my impending graduation was bringing a lot of that to a stopping point.

I was miserable thinking about the future, even though I had this whole “noble” plan to work full time and lead worship in my spare time for a church that couldn’t afford a worship leader or find somewhere to play. The only problem was, there was nothing else I was truly passionate about. My engineering friends could talk about engineering stuff for hours, as could my teaching friends with teaching topics. I only wanted to lead music in a way that caused response in peoples lives.

So, I gave up my noble plan, and decided to start looking for some way to become a full-time “worship leader”. I applied all over the country, and ended up living up in Dallas, working at a Starbucks, and planning on seminary, with only one more possibility before academia swallowed me whole once again.
That one last possibility ended up being where God has me today, a full-time worship-leading “resident” at an 8,000 member church in Arizona, in a program designed to prepare ministers for a life of full-time ministry. It hasn’t always been easy, but it is so much fun, and I’m learning so much and meeting so many amazing new people.

And it all started with the words of a traveling comedian.

Kelley said
Oh, man. I thought last summer that I was supposed to go to Honduras on a missions trip. I had prayed about it, and I started raising support.

Enter my missions contact, who told me that the trip was closed, but that I could go to Mexico if I wanted. Now, I don’t have anything against Mexico, but I really didn’t want to go there. I wanted to go someplace more exotic. Like Honduras. So I told her no.

That night I woke up in the middle of the night and could not go back to sleep. I knew God was telling me to go to Mexico. So I tried to ignore God in the most ironic way possible: reading the Bible. I sat in my room reading my Bible for an hour, trying to drown out God. Finally I gave up and listened. When I woke up the next morning, I called my missions contact and told her I would go to Mexico. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made in my life.

The Essential Cast of a Great Mission Trip

(If you saw the iBible video recently, then you know Tyler Stanton. He helped write it and was in it. If you’ve attended North Point Community Church at any point in the last 5 years you know Tyler. He’s been in a million funny videos for them. If you went to the West Coast Catalyst you know Tyler. He and Tripp Crosby co-hosted it with Jud Wilhite. To put it mildly, he’s hilarious. As evidenced by this photo of rubber outfits Tripp and Tyler wore at West Coast Catalyst for a skit. When I asked Tyler where they got them he said, “Ebay. We got them a year ago from someone in China for a skit in which we pretend that they make us invisible.” Love it.

I’m a big fan of Tyler. This summer, Tripp, Tyler and I are going to goad each other into doing stand up comedy at some open mic night. Until then, here’s some witty insights from an Atlanta legend.)

The Essential Cast of a Great Mission Trip

It’s mission trip season again, and although there are a million resources that tell you what to bring (passport, fanny pack, hand sanitizer, etc.), no one has really documented the people that are essential to every trip. So as you review the sign-up sheet, make sure the following people are on there. The trip would be incomplete without them.

The Self-Appointed Crew Chief
This guy isn’t the official leader of the trip, but deep down he knows he is the most qualified. He sniffs around, waiting to pounce on any hint of indecision by the trip leader, and make it known that he is really the one in charge.

The Culture Expert
This guy takes advantage of every opportunity to show off the 8 Spanish words he knows. He also thrives on letting you know all the different things you’re doing right this second that are offensive to this culture.

The Mime
There’s always one in the group. This guy brought three extra bags full of costumes, face paint, and Rich Mullins tapes to make sure the mime drama comes to fruition. He spends the vast majority of his time trying to convince the rest of the (oh so hesitant) group that this is a valid and relevant avenue for furthering the Kingdom.
The Hyper-Witnesser
This guy can (and will) manipulate any conversation into a presentation of The Four Spiritual Laws. Don’t you just love Burger King? I used to love wearing those crowns. They were so much more comfortable than…say…a crown of thorns. Hey, speaking of crowns of thorns…

The Drama Queen
This girl somehow manages to suffer from diarrhea, heat exhaustion, and a badly sprained ankle before even getting off the bus. The only time she stops complaining about not being able to bring her hair dryer is when she is complaining about how gross the food is. When a friend confides in her about the deep impact this trip is having on him, she rolls her eyes and responds with “you don’t even know” and one-ups his experience with one of her own.

The Construction Guru
This guy scoffs at your childish attempts to hammer a nail. His favorite way to start a sentence is with “You know if you…” (as in “You know if you hold the nail at a 45 degree angle you won’t continue to embarrass yourself”).

The Photographer
This person holds a deep conviction that capturing action shots of her group is more important than helping provide shelter for Ecuadorian orphans. She manages to go the entire week without picking up a single tool or getting her hands dirty (except for that one time she dropped her lens on the dirt mound).

The Driver
No one has ever been more patronized than this guy. Once people find out his name is Leonard, they obnoxiously refer to him as Leo and slap him on the back every time they exit. He’s not even necessarily part of the group. He just drops everyone off at the appropriate destination and spends the rest of the day at Applebee’s. This poor sap has no idea The Hyper-Witnesser has targeted him as his special project for the week.

The Team Mom
You can spot her giving out band-aids and juice boxes at any given moment. Most of her time on the trip, though, will be eaten up by The Drama Queen, either taping up her ankle or helping her process this new depth of emotion (selflessness) that she’s never before felt.

The Neckers
Their parents made them come on the trip. They only agreed because they were excited about a new place to make out. The rest of The Cast is happy they came for a number of reasons. The Mime thinks this guy would be a great satan in his drama. The Hyper-Witnesser hasn’t been gaining much ground with Leo and sees them as a new target. The Culture Expert likes to let everyone know that’s how they do things in France. And The Photographer knows they’re about to make her Facebook page a lot more popular.

Who did I leave out?

Who else is essential to a mission trip?

And fess up, which one are you?

(For more Tyler, check out http://www.tylerstanton.com/)

Throwing the B Card.

Whenever my wife and I try to talk about our future, we both end up throwing different cards on the table almost immediately. I’m a big fan of the “G card” (God) and she’s a big fan of the “D card” (Dad). Here’s how a typical conversation about our future breaks down in about 30 seconds:

ME: “I’d like to think about maybe moving or doing something else. I’m not sure if I’m where I’m supposed to be or doing what I’m supposed to be doing.”

HER: (Fearing I’m on the verge of suggesting some crazy, non health care-having adventure like making the family join the carnival for the Lord) “Maybe you’re where you are so that we’ll have a steady income. Why can’t being a good dad be what you’re supposed to be doing?”

ME: (Sensing that I can’t follow my dreams and be a good dad at the same time) “I’m just trying to do what God is calling me to do.”

Boo-yah! The God card always trumps the Dad card because in essence, by getting God into the mix, I’ve said to her, “Are you saying you want to stand in the way of the Almighty, the Great I Am, Jehovah, the Holy Lord? Is that what this is about?”It’s an almost flawless card to throw.

The only way to counteract it is to reply, “Well, that’s not what I’m hearing from God right now.” You in essence snatch the G card off the table and throw it back down. I think technically it’s the “G squared card” at that point, but I’m not sure.

It’s not even really my favorite card anymore though. It used to be, but lately I’ve started hearing pastors throw the Bible card like it was going out of style. In the middle of a sermon, they’ll make some claim like, “You can’t love money and love God.” Sensing that the affluent crowd might have winced a little and thought, “Yeah, but can you love a Range Rover and God at the same time?” the pastor will say, “I’m not trying to be argumentative; I’m just telling you what Jesus says in the Bible.”

I love that. On the one hand it’s such a succinct way to shut down complainers, and on the other, it’s a great way to motivate people. A pastor I know mentioned how he loves when people disagree with him after a B card throw-down because it inspires them to get into the Bible.

“Oh no, he didn’t just say that. I’m going to look that up, prove him wrong and throw the B card back at him on stage next week. Security will probably escort me out, but I’ll be throwing out B cards like an octopus as they drag me to the exit.” (Flipping Bible pages when he gets home that Sunday afternoon.) “Huh, what’s this? That verse he quoted is in the Bible? He was right? Weird.”

Wishing being a Christian meant a pain free life.

When dentists look in my mouth, they see ski boats and luxury sedans and the chance to finally take that month long tour with their family in Italy. I have what in the periodontal community is known as a “lottery month.” I’ve got fillings to be replaced, cavities from having braces three different times and a gold mine of potential wisdom teeth to remove.

And the day before I spoke at the Off the Blogs event in February, I even had an emergency root canal.

It started at four in the morning. Waves of pain began rocking me every forty minutes. The right side of my face would turn grey, one eye would go red and I would enter a small space in my head where my dying tooth would scream, “There is no pain in this dojo!” But there was pain in that dojo, oh there was. I went to work and tried to tough it out. I scheduled an appointment with a root canal specialist and then set my stop watch to 24 hours because that’s how long I had to make it.

By the time my appointment rolled around, I wanted to hug the dentist I was so happy to be there. I was moments away from freedom, I was on the edge of relief and I was ecstatic.

But it didn’t quite go the way I thought it would.

At minute 90 during the procedure I was still in agonizing pain. Apparently I have roller coaster roots that flip and turn inside my teeth. So the dentist couldn’t use just an electric tool to kill them. Instead he had to also use hand tools and slowly twist his way with some sort of long thin file into my teeth. Imagine someone spinning a titanium needle between their thumb and pointer finger back and forth deep inside your tooth for an hour and a half.

So I asked for more novacaine. Based on the pain I was in, I figured the dentist would say, “Sure, hook up this camelback hydration system and drink it through a straw. Have all you want.” Instead, he said:

“I can’t give you anymore. I’ve already reached the limit of what you can handle. If I give you anymore, your vision will blur.”

My first thought was, “For how long? I’m not reading a book right now. I’ll get a cab to take me home. Are you saying my vision will blur forever or just for a few days? I promise, I don’t need perfect vision for the rest of this week. Give me the novacaine.”

But he wouldn’t and so I sat there with increasing flows of electricity shooting through the nerve highway of my mouth. I thought I had reached the worst point until I felt a hygienist place something in my hand. “Did that really just happen?” I thought to myself? “Did a hygienist just place a ball in my hand to squeeze because it’s about to get even worse? What century am I in? I’m not getting a Pancho Villa bullet removed on a battlefied right now. A ball? Seriously? Is there not a strap of leather I can bite down on too? Just go ahead and give me a shot of bourbon while you’re at it and heat up an iron to cauterize the wound.”

The whole experience was extremely difficult, but within 24 hours after leaving the dentist’s office I felt better. I started to feel good again and realized that I was glad he hadn’t potentially risked my long term eyesight for the instant relief of my very temporary pain. I’d like to say that was the only time in my life I’ve willingly wanted to trade long term consequences for short term gains, but then that would be a lie.

I think God can rattle off 2 billion times when I’ve made the same request to Him. When something in my life has been painful and I’ve tried to find a shortcut out of it. When I couldn’t understand His long term plan for my life and said, “This is too much. Hit me with some God novacaine. I don’t care what kind of lesson you’re teaching me in this. I don’t care about refining. It hurts, let’s get this over with.”

I don’t think I’m the only one that’s done this and I wonder sometimes if that was what Joseph felt like when he got freed from the well. He must have been terrified when his brothers threw him down into that cistern in the desert. He must have thought he was dead, that he was in an inescapable pit. But then, for a brief moment he might have felt like freedom had arrived. His brothers were returning for him, they were lifting him out. He was free. He was rescued.

But in the blink of an eye, his pain went to a different place and he was sold into slavery.

Sometimes, the hardest moments in life are not the initial painful experiences we go through, but the times we think it’s over and it’s not. When we think we’ve escaped an illness but it returns. The times we finally got a job after being unemployed for a year but get laid off in the first month at our new one. The times we think we’ve reconciled with our husbands but things fall apart again.

I don’t know what’s going on in your life. Maybe things are great right now and you’re thinking “oh jeez Serious Wednesday.” That’s awesome that things are good right now, God certainly showers us with greatness. But maybe you just went from a great job to a no job kind of situation. Maybe you’re crying out for novacaine right now. I don’t know your specifics, but what I do know is that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

It’s not in some things, or in most things or in the things that make sense in the moment. It’s all things. And for the ones that hurt, for the moments that don’t make any sense whatsoever, we’re given a great reassurance in Romans 8:26.

“We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.”

I love that.

I love that when we don’t have the right words or the perfect words, the Spirit groans for us. That’s the prayer I pray during life’s root canal moments. I just ask the Spirit to “groan.” It’s not the most elaborate prayer. It’s not that fancy, and it would make perhaps the world’s shortest book. But when I’m in a corner and don’t know what to pray for because the pain doesn’t seem to line up with my plans, that’s all I say to the Holy Spirit. That’s my simple prayer request.

“Groan.”

The Church Secretary, the most powerful person in the church.

A few years ago I got invited to have a meeting with Andy Stanley and a few other folks from North Point Community Church. (If Rick Warren is the Lebron James of modern church life, then Andy Stanley is the Kevin Garnett. Team player, skilled beyond his years and able to rock the pulpit like few other people on the planet.)

When I walked into the office to meet with him I was already a little sweaty. I approached the secretary in the lobby and said, “I’m here for a meeting with Andy Stanley.” She didn’t outright laugh, but I’m fairly certain her feet giggled a little under the desk. With around 25,000 people attending North Point, I’m sure she is used to seeing her fair share of folks who wander in and feel like they might have something important to tell the pastor. She was incredibly polite and said, “I’ll see if he’s available. Why don’t you sit down in the ‘crazy person’ section of our lobby and I’ll type up your request in my invisible typewriter.” (That last sentence was not true and was a direct steal from an episode of the Simpsons.)

Eventually she let me into the inner sanctum of the offices and I was able to go have the meeting. But sitting there in the lobby, watching her control the entire church world from a central command post I was reminded of a fact I often forget:

The secretary is the most powerful person in the church.

It’s not the pastor. It’s not the elders. It’s not the deacons or even the pastoral search committee.

It’s the church secretary.

But they’re a mysterious lot. So few documentaries have been able to accurately study them in their natural habitat. And I’m not foolish enough to think that I possess the intelligence or the agility to properly document the life of a church secretary.

Instead though, I encourage you to send this list of questions to them. See if they’ll invite you into their world, if only for a brief moment, so that we church members, we civilians if you will, can understand what is going on in the heart and mind of the church secretary.

Here are the questions I have:

1. Should I say “Church Administrative Assistant” instead of “Church Secretary?”

2. Do you have a “cuckoo person in the lobby” emergency button under your desk?

3. If so, can you please tell me who it notifies? (I bet it’s the janitor. Every church janitor I have ever known looks like they could cut you. Not would, but could. And not deep, just enough to let you know trash cans on wheels are not designed for races.)

4. Is it true that sometimes you write funny messages in the bulletin just to see who notices?

5. When you’re mad at the pastor do you ever send him off to fake lunch appointments just so he’ll sit in some restaurant and stare at his watch for 30 minutes and be out of your hair? I probably would.

6. Do you have an arch nemesis that works at the church? It’s gotta be the youth minister. They make the biggest messes, use the most liability waiver forms and probably occasionally do pranks that involve you needing to call animal rescue services to remove a small woodland creature from the sanctuary.

7. If you don’t have an arch nemesis, who would you leg sweep? I’m talking members, staff, volunteers. Who is getting the leg sweep?

8. How long did you keep the secret bathroom all to yourself without telling anyone else it existed?

9. Does the pastor ever tell you to create a rule so that certain people’s emails go right to the spam folder instead of his inbox? Am I on the list? Shoot me straight.

10. Do you ever shot block volunteers out of love? Someone tells you “My kid is great at that Wii thing. I think he’d be good at designing your church website” and you reply, “Nah, we’re good. Thanks though.”

11. Are you ever tempted to wield the office supply requisition form like a powerful weapon? “Oh hey, you didn’t remember professional admin day this year. Hope you enjoy the cheap bic pens that come in a 400 pack.” That kind of thing. Ever do that?

12. Has a worship leader ever tried to write off hair product as a work expense?

If you’re a church secretary, please feel free to set the record straight.

If you’re not, but have a question of your own, please add it to the list.

Do you agree that the church secretary is the most powerful person at a church?

Oh Terence.

Happy Memorial Day.

I’m at the beach with my hott wife and kids judging people that aren’t wearing tankini’s.

Fresh Stuff Christians Like will be back tomorrow.

In the meantime, please enjoy some Terence Trent D’Arby.

P.S. I am going to start every conference speech, sermon, thing where I get to talk to people the same way he does at the eight second mark.

How do you read the Bible?

A Short Saturday Question

How do you read the Bible?

It’s massive and despite its awesomeness, sometimes, its hard to find a way into it. I thought it might be cool to share the different ways we’re all engaging with the big black book today.

I’ll go first. Right now I’m reading through the whole thing. I’m using the book “Your Daily Walk” as a loose framework. It walks you through the whole Bible in a year, but to be honest with you, I’m on January 18th so I’m a little behind. Part of the problem with trying to read the Bible in a year is that you speed by so many layers of ideas when you go quickly. So I go slow.

And one of the things I’m doing right now is highlighting areas where I feel like God is showing His love for us. For most of my life I thought that He at best tolerated me and was an angry, loved to punish kind of God. So now, whenever I come across something that seems loving I underline it and write “God is love” beside it.

For instance, in Genesis 6 when God gives Noah the detailed directions for building the ark I wrote “God is love” next to that because I realized you only really give detailed directions to people you love. If some stranger pulls over on the side of the road and asks me how to get to the highway, I go high level and say, “Yeah, it’s two miles ahead. Look for the gas station on the left. You can’t miss it.” If my wife or sister needed directions somewhere though I would draw a map. I would be detailed and careful and deliberate, because I love them. And that’s what God did with Noah, giving him detailed directions on how to build the ark.

This is silly, but when I do find an example of God being loving, I don’t write out the word “love,” I draw a red heart so that I can find it again when flipping pages. I know that’s a very Hello Kitty thing of me to do but there it is. I want to flip my Bible open in a few years after I’m done with this exercise and see it explode with red. I’m a dork. Noted.

But how are you reading the Bible?

Any tricks or tips or ideas you’ve found helpful?

Let’s talk.

How to get your name in the Stuff Christians Like book.

Want to get a shout out in the Stuff Christians Like book? It’s easy. Write a word definition for the definitive online Stuff Christians Like Dictionary.

The person that writes the most definitions and the person that writes the best definition as decided by readers will get mentioned in the acknowledgements or “ac-awesomements” section of the book.

Here are a few other reasons why I think we should write this dictionary:

1. New readers email me and ask “what is a leg drop” or “what’s the deal with Razzle Dazzle?” I think a dictionary would be a kind thing for us to create.

2. You already write really funny definitions of the words blogger.com makes you put in for the comments verification.

3. A link to your blog will be posted with the definitions you write so it’s a great way to introduce people to your own site and writing style.

4. I think it would be funny.

Does that sound cool to you?

If it does, then pick a phrase from this site and write a definition. Or share a phrase you came up with after reading a post. Often, the ideas you guys have are funnier than the original post and not everyone gets to see them because folks might not read the comments. It doesn’t have to be hilarious or serious or hilserious, just write it how you want to write it. Add your definitions via comments in this post.

Each one should have three parts: The definition, the post it came from and a use in a sentence. And don’t worry if someone already covered the word you wanted to cover. I think duplicate definitions are fine.

Here is an example of one I did:
Middle finger of grammar
Origin:
From the post, “Being afraid to use our gifts.”
Definition:
When you’re tired of putting satan “on notice” and you really want to make him mad, it’s best to lowercase his name which, in some circles, is known as the middle finger of grammar. OK, it’s only known in the SCL circle, but ours is a perfectly fine circle indeed.
Example: “Yeah, I know satan should be capitalized, but what can I say, I’m a big fan of the middle finger of grammar.”

Here are a few phrases to help get you started:
Dumb Thumbs
WOTAM
Sin Synonyms
Facebook friend suggesting Jesus
TOC Shofar Horn
Mangkade
SAKV – Swiss Army Knife Volunteer
Mid Bible Study Interruption
Worship Leader Mini Sermon
Sympathy Scoop

Let’s sumbit comment definitions on this post until June 22nd and then I’ll pull the 10 best definitions together and have everyone vote on which one is the most wicked awesome. Then I will put them all together in one massively awesome dictionary post on this site that gives the credit where the credit is due–you. (Which will happen because people will probably say your definitions are so so def. Get it? “Def” as in definition? See that’s not funny. Now all you have to do if you get writer’s block about trying to be funny with your definition is remember I wrote that.)

So what do you think?

Want a chance to get your name on a bookshelf forever?

Want to get your blog some love on Stuff Christians Like?

Want to be so, so def?

I don’t want a life that requires much faith.

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, my dad is starting a church in his mid 50s. In a horrible economy. With very little resources. And recently he confessed on his own blog:

“I don’t want a life that requires much faith.”

He unpacked the thought further and said:

“Here’s the thing I’ve realized, though. My natural inclination to have a secure life that needs little faith ends up being a life that needs very little God, either. That’s the deadly part of security and safety, we get used to living without God. There’s no need for God to show up. “All set, Lord,” becomes our silent, unconscious prayer.”

I love that. I love seeing what’s going on with him and where God’s got him. I love the things that are coming out of this adventure. I love that my dad can still kill me in Frisbee golf.

To check out the rest of the piece, which I really dug, check out “A Confession.”

More so than any other person on the planet, my dad is why I write the way I write and it’s fun to see him out there blogging. Read his blog if you get a chance.

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