Comments on: Thinking you’re supposed to be a minister.

By: D Hudson Everett

D Hudson Everett — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 03:29:00 +0000

It seems I am called to be a Youth Pastor, who knew? I did not, seeing as I am anti-youth group.

By: Becca

Becca — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 19:59:08 +0000

WOW i’m a missionary pretty much %100. i never knew!! great post.

By: Dragonfly

Dragonfly — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 14:10:45 +0000

Missionary. I already suspected that though. All except the fanny packs. Double on the water.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 23:09:52 +0000

this is freakin' hilarious, o yeah and also the worship/ youth leader loves to sing under the stars around a campfire with teenage girls. bahahahaha

By: Encarnacion

Encarnacion — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 07:13:00 +0000

Well, here goes...

Senior Pastor
Yes to 3 & 4. But I am female, so that (unfortunately) bars me from most of these posts anyway.

Youth Pastor
Yes to 1, and maybe on 5.

Children's Pastor
Yes to 1, I wish on 5.

Worship Leader
Not a thing, nor desire for any of them either.

Evangelist
Yes to 2, but I don't think you are referring to midnight blue here.

Missionary
Yes to 1 & 2, and now that I think about it, (S/P)aul pretty much is James Bond, but even better. Oh, also, yes to the bonus, if one considers Mexico to be "third world" (I do not, and am posting as a missionary in Mexico.)

I could also add lots to this list like...

7. Is answering the question "Where do you call home?" incredibly difficult, but made easier by a world map and a bingo marker?
8. Do you wish you could change your melanin and pigment as easily as you would your shirt?
9. Do you sectetly think monocultural ministry positions heve it easy?
and finally...
10. Is Paul your homeboy?

By: Letter to the World

Letter to the World — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 22:41:00 +0000

Yet another overlooked Minister...the famous Minister of Education! Are you cut out for it?
1. You grow up wanting to be anything other than a Minister of Education.
2. You don’t want to put yourself through the agony that is Seminary.
3. You aspire to be known as “The Announcements Guy” on Sunday morning.
4. Your vocabulary consists of words like Sunday School, small groups, life groups, visitation, programs, and discipleship training.
5. High Attendance Sunday is like Christmas.
6. When someone asks you how many contacts you had this week, you know not to respond with, “I don’t wear contacts” but rather, “Phone calls? Cards? Or Visits?”
7. You won’t mind getting calls early on Sunday morning from SS teachers who are sick, have sick kids, or couldn’t get back from the lake on Saturday night like they so wisely planned.
8. You know the LifeWay Catalog operator by name.
9. It's cool that your children, your friends, and even your pastor will have no idea what you really do.
10. "Associate Pastor" will look good under your name on your business card.

As the proud daughter of a Minister of Education who taught me everything I need to know about spreadsheets and Sunday School, I couldn't resist throwing this out there.

By: Nick the Geek

Nick the Geek — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 04:11:00 +0000

@Greg, Yeah sure I know you are likely to have found a way to change the post dates on you posts to make it look like they are 3 years old just to throw me. Much Love

@Emma S,
Yes I often back away from Children's pastors slowly. Don't look them in the eye either they work whit kids all the time so they can smell fear, but blessedly that is all they can smell.

@Greg,
That reminds me, the children's pastor stuff is all based on a mutual friend. I'll give you a hint. The name rhymes with hosh jerry. Seriously a great guy though.

@Rob,
Well everyone is called to ministry, but there are lots of different ministries so ...

@Anna,
That reminds me of another favorite missionary stories. A lady was speaking to a group of Spanish speaking young men. She somehow messed up and asked them to join her in the bathroom in her closing statement. Then she got up and "apologized" for her statement when someone explained what she has actually said. She told the young men in her apology, "I am so sorry what I have said has made me to be very embarasada." I probably misspelled that but it means pregnant in Spanish.

@elkaye,
You have given me a new goal in life. I will not rest until I have mad someone laugh so hard they snort coffee out of their nose in the middle of a Starbucks.

@shan in japan,
What part of Japan? I lived there for a few years when I was very young. My first memory is the airport leaving the country. The new question will be "Are you a masochist?" I considered glutton for punishment but gluttony is one of the 7 deadly sins so missionaries should avoid that.

By: Shan in Japan

Shan in Japan — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 01:11:00 +0000

I am a missionary and loved the missionary section. My seminary degree is in Christian ed so that I can be a children’s pastor in my next life!
My aunt suggested another requirement of the missionary is that they enjoy suffering. Maybe you need to include a statement about suffering for the Lord in the missionary section. (I wish I were sarcastic enough to come up with a good line!)

By: elkaye

elkaye — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 01:10:00 +0000

this was AWESOME. i was shaking silently with laughter in my local starbucks =b

By: Anna

Anna — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 18:41:00 +0000

I would fit the Children’s Pastor, but I am a missionary instead. The only question I answered yes to is that I think James Bond would make an awesome missionary… except for the killing people and a few other minor character flaws.
You should definitely add the question about making fool of yourself to the missionary column. I am in language school now, and have done that quite a few times already. We spend half of our class laughing at our mistakes. Mispronounce one letter and you are talking about the war downtown instead of the train station downtown.