Comments on: The Jelly Bellies of Christendom.

By: Erin Fulton

Erin Fulton — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 00:08:00 +0000

I love this website! Just found it – I am very entertained. If I think of a jelly bean I’ll let you know.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 20:52:00 +0000

My dad, a retired pastor, used to keep a jar of jelly beans on his desk…I think because Ronald Reagan did. I preferred the bowl of M&M's though.

By: Helen

Helen — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 18:14:00 +0000

Natrimony. You don’t even have a blog to criticize. ’nuff said!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 14:57:00 +0000

How about the useless female singer in the praise band jelly belly.

Louder than any of the other beans, it still insists that it cannot be heard. Even though it doesn’t really contribute to the overall flavor of the other beans, it has a strong flavor of superiority. It also comes with an annoying tambourine.

By: michellewegner

michellewegner — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 03:16:00 +0000

I am a pastor’s wife, and I never wear pink. Better yet, check out our Sr.Pastor’s wife Sheila Beeson at Mark’s blog http://www.markbeeson.com You may think twice about what you have to say about pastor’s wives.

By: Carly J.

Carly J. — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 00:46:00 +0000

Sermon Tape jelly bean – tastes like car fumes since you’re listening to them in the car instead of actually going on Sunday with an aftertaste of lemonade to refresh your mouth with the gospel and get your mind off missing service. Color: pick an choose depending on your church’s colors.

Youth Leader jelly bean – espresso mixed with energy drink to stay up all night at those all nighters you volunteered for. Color: black with neon yellow polkadots (why, I don’t know I just think that’d look cool).

and i think the SCL bean would be skittle flavored…

By: Stacy from Louisville

Stacy from Louisville — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 22:56:00 +0000

On a personal note, I’m glad we refrained from a “Booty God Booty” flavor.

By: Travelin' Joe

Travelin' Joe — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 05:27:00 +0000

Jelly Belly: The Confrontational Evangelist –

These jelly beans are cubelike as to demonstrate the rigidity and precision of their faith… no rounded curves of compromise, SINNER!.

it tastes a little ashy to remind you of the Brimstone you’re saving people from, a little salty to remind you of the sweat you’ve formerly used in your Lusty and licentious pursuits, and an overwhelming aftertaste of pine-sol to represent the pervasive Holier-than-thou demeanor.

By: Steph

Steph — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 19:30:00 +0000

Just thought of one more...

Blogger Jelly Belly:

Comes in multiple colors and tastes like 40 different opinions ranging from ignorant to brilliant with a few "can't take a joke" types thrown in for controversy.
You either love 'em or hate 'em but likely keep coming back for more because somehow, you just can't seem to get enough.

By: Amanda B

Amanda B — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 15:59:00 +0000

“always pastel and triple confection coating make it so super sweet it comes with a pre-measured insulin syringe.”

Hilarious.