#388. The 11 signs of a wicked awesome mission trip interpretative dance song.

When I was in high school in the early 90s, I went on a mission trip to Dominica. Our youth group wanted to sing a popular song that we could also choreograph some simple dance moves to. At the time, there was a church law that you had to use one of the following three songs:

1. Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror”
2. Gloria Estefan’s “Coming out of the Dark”
3. Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart”

So we learned Man in the Mirror and Coming out of the Dark, strung together a handful of dance moves and then proceeded to perform for the general populace of one of the Lesser Antilles. It all made sense at the time.

But times have changed. I have to believe we’ve collectively retired those three songs. Despite the 80’s love due Miss Tyler deserves, surely, we are not still singing, “Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I’m only falling apart, there’s nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.” And though I remain a firm believer that the rhythm is gonna get ya, maybe even tonight, Gloria Estefan is no longer rocking youth groups.

So what are the new songs we should be learning awkward dance steps to and performing on our mission trips? What pop culture nugget can we shine up with a mime intro and wow folks with? And most importantly, how do we make sure that the songs we do pick, will be as excellent as those three above?

We look for the 11 signs of a wicked awesome mission trip interpretative dance song:

1. The song features snapping, the easiest “dance move” ever.

2. The song has a “songversation” in the middle, where two people go back and forth, like the weird dude that just groans, “Turnaround bright eyes” in “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

3. The song is inspired by a personal crisis like Gloria Estefan’s car crash.

4. The song includes a whistling solo that even the least talented member of your group can handle.

5. The song contains a section that’s perfect for a gospel choir to magically appear from behind a curtain.

6. The song has lyrics that practically beg for you to mime things like Jackson’s “As I, turn up the collar on my favorite winter coat, this wind is blowing my mind.”

7. The song is cheesy enough that years later when you hear it with your mission trip friends you will all immediately break into the dance routine.

8. The songwriter clearly wrote the song about his girlfriend but with some creative editing you can pretend he’s singing to God.

9. The song has a solo section for that one girl in your youth group that can just belt it out.

10. When you return from the mission trip and put together a black and white slideshow of your photos you can play the song in the background and make everyone cry.

11. The song allows you to stretch it out to 14 minutes if you need some filler while other parts of the service get ready.

How did you score? 10 for 11? 2 out of 11? And what songs are we performing these days on mission trips? I told you my three from back in the day and even included a video clip of Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror.” Although I never thought I’d post a clip like that, I wanted you to know what you’re up against. So below is his 1988 Grammy Awards performance. (Clearly he’s had some issues since, but you can’t watch this video and not laugh at the idea of me as a sweaty teenager popping my imaginary collar in a small church in the Caribbean as I danced to “Man in the Mirror.” Good times.)

So what’s your favorite mission trip interpretative dance song?