#363. The Camp Testi-whoa-ny
Camp month at Stuff Christians Like is about to wrap up. As we come to the end, I thought it might be fun to reflect on an event that is often at the end of the Christian camp experience – testimony night.
Sometimes, as a way to discuss and enjoy the work God has done during the week or months at camp, there will be a testimony night. This is essentially an open microphone session where anyone can step up and talk about their experience. It can be a cool situation, with people sharing their hearts about what happened at camp and their hopes about what will happen when they return home. It can be beautiful and honest and unify the group of kids in a way that few things can.
It can also be crazy.
I am of course talking about what I call the “testi-whoa-ny.” This is when someone gets up, grabs the mic and then proceeds to confess something that soars miles passed the boundaries of normal camp testimonies. Out of nowhere, they unleash a monologue of words and emotions that are so wildly inappropriate that the entire room freezes in a strange potpourri of sweat and awkwardness.
But it would be easy to read this and think, “Jon wants us to lie in our testimonies. He is ignoring James 5:16. He probably has an ironic t-shirt that says ‘I hate honesty.’ I should leg drop him.” So I thought I would clarify my thought by sharing the two most common forms of “test-whoa-nies.”
1. The Lost in Lust Approach
I am all about confessing lust and working on it honestly and openly. I have been upfront on my own issues with that on this site. But, in the words of Depeche Mode, it’s no good when a camper stands up on testimony night and says, “I want to confess that I have really been lusting after Jennifer, especially during the swim test when she had that bikini on and during the talent show when they changed Jesse McCartney’s song ‘leavin’ to ‘cleaving’ and made it about getting married.” Poor Jennifer sits there dying inside, while some dude clears himself of any guilt. Say you’re struggling with lust, don’t give a shout out to the girl or guy you’ve lusted after. And confess it in detail to a counselor, not the whole crowd.
2. The Carjack Confession
It took me, many, many years of marriage to learn this one. Sometimes, there is more than one person involved in a situation you feel is part of your testimony. So you’ll be faced with the temptation to confess somebody else’s story as well as your own. It looks like this, “I just wanted to say that God really moved in my heart once Mark and I stopped stealing things from other cabins. God really convicted me about doing that with Mark. So I put an end to it.” In one fell swoop, you’ve not only taken the power of confession away from Mark, but you threw him under the bus by indicating you were the one that broke it off. The crowd is left thinking “Whoa, look at what Mark was doing and he didn’t even want to stop!” I used to do this all the time by confessing marital stuff my wife was not comfortable with random strangers at the gas station knowing. She’s all about confession but wants the freedom to discuss that as a couple versus have me carjack the whole confession and essentially say, “I’ve been really selfish my whole life and have now found a way to extend that selfishness by sharing our junk without talking with you about it. Yay me!”
I love camp. I love testimonies. I am going to miss this month when it is over. But I could go my whole life without hearing or delivering another testi-whoa-ny.
