Comments on: The friend that went to counseling once and is now an expert on counseling you. http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/ Musings by Jon Acuff Tue, 22 May 2012 20:17:18 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: thoughtriver http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/comment-page-1/#comment-114790 thoughtriver Mon, 19 Jul 2010 15:58:53 +0000 http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/#comment-114790 sea urchin DOES have a very strange consistency sea urchin DOES have a very strange consistency

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/comment-page-1/#comment-33157 Anonymous Sat, 21 Mar 2009 04:22:00 +0000 http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/#comment-33157 As a counsellor myself I think we need to acknowledge some stuff. Everybody is entitled to their privacy. If you use counselling 'tricks' to make your friends tell you more than they wanted to you are invading their privacy. If you are good enough friends they will tell you anyway or you can always preface a counsellor moment by telling them it's coming. At least then they know what's happening and can stop it if they want to. As a counsellor myself I think we need to acknowledge some stuff. Everybody is entitled to their privacy. If you use counselling ‘tricks’ to make your friends tell you more than they wanted to you are invading their privacy. If you are good enough friends they will tell you anyway or you can always preface a counsellor moment by telling them it’s coming. At least then they know what’s happening and can stop it if they want to.

]]> By: ryan-c-esms http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/comment-page-1/#comment-31550 ryan-c-esms Mon, 02 Mar 2009 13:16:00 +0000 http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/#comment-31550 I did some training in social work, which is really a mix of a lot of disciplines on top of some psychology and communication.<br/><br/>The irony? I spent a lot of time in counseling during my adolescence. So I think I can be of service to others in that fashion. (and have never been shy about presenting myself in that manner)<br/><br/>I got out into secular practice and couldn't do it. The same gift/skill/whatever that lets me sit there and listen to others and analyse things failed me when it came to doing it for paid employment. (The beginning of the famine period!)<br/><br/>My favourite moment usually comes when people meet me and discover that I studied social work; or 'counselling' as they put it. And either try to get me to start counselling them, or ask my opinion on various random theories and bodies of knowledge, expecting that I know lots about them having studied 'something related'!<br/><br/>The further irony is that the thought of counselling someone right now results in 'But who counsels me? Who cares for the carers?' and a lot of anger.<br/><br/>Definitely hit a nail on the head there Jon. I did some training in social work, which is really a mix of a lot of disciplines on top of some psychology and communication.

The irony? I spent a lot of time in counseling during my adolescence. So I think I can be of service to others in that fashion. (and have never been shy about presenting myself in that manner)

I got out into secular practice and couldn’t do it. The same gift/skill/whatever that lets me sit there and listen to others and analyse things failed me when it came to doing it for paid employment. (The beginning of the famine period!)

My favourite moment usually comes when people meet me and discover that I studied social work; or ‘counselling’ as they put it. And either try to get me to start counselling them, or ask my opinion on various random theories and bodies of knowledge, expecting that I know lots about them having studied ‘something related’!

The further irony is that the thought of counselling someone right now results in ‘But who counsels me? Who cares for the carers?’ and a lot of anger.

Definitely hit a nail on the head there Jon.

]]> By: Thursday http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/comment-page-1/#comment-15501 Thursday Mon, 04 Aug 2008 23:37:00 +0000 http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/#comment-15501 I knew someone once whose idea of having a "real" conversation post-counseling-type-experience became calling the woman who used to be her best friend and telling this other woman everything that was awful about her. And then seemed surprised when the other woman only pulled back more.<br/><br/>Everything would have worked out better if they had only known the campfire trick beforehand. I knew someone once whose idea of having a “real” conversation post-counseling-type-experience became calling the woman who used to be her best friend and telling this other woman everything that was awful about her. And then seemed surprised when the other woman only pulled back more.

Everything would have worked out better if they had only known the campfire trick beforehand.

]]> By: Andy Ingram http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/comment-page-1/#comment-8288 Andy Ingram Thu, 12 Jun 2008 18:46:00 +0000 http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/#comment-8288 Some of it may be that I want to make sure that your just as messed up as I am, so I'm going to test out a few of the questions I got asked at counselling. The we can all be messed up and hang together. Some of it may be that I want to make sure that your just as messed up as I am, so I’m going to test out a few of the questions I got asked at counselling. The we can all be messed up and hang together.

]]> By: Miss Hannah http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/comment-page-1/#comment-5277 Miss Hannah Tue, 20 May 2008 15:53:00 +0000 http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/#comment-5277 is this kind of like my sister-in-law who had a baby seven weeks before i did last year and now likes to demonstrate her "superior" parenting skills and give me "words of wisdom" from her "extensive experience" even though she's four years younger than me and didn't take half the classes i did in preparation?<br/><br/>sorry, friend who went to counseling once, that WAS a little judgmental and passive-aggressive, wasn't it? is this kind of like my sister-in-law who had a baby seven weeks before i did last year and now likes to demonstrate her “superior” parenting skills and give me “words of wisdom” from her “extensive experience” even though she’s four years younger than me and didn’t take half the classes i did in preparation?

sorry, friend who went to counseling once, that WAS a little judgmental and passive-aggressive, wasn’t it?

]]> By: Capella http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/comment-page-1/#comment-5265 Capella Tue, 20 May 2008 15:15:00 +0000 http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/#comment-5265 Uh oh, I AM one of those people who are insta-experts at something after trying it once.<br/>I think people are catching on to my amazing ability to thoroughly learn something after just one time experiencing it. Kind of like that one time I became a prophet after we had that awesome spiritual gifts sermon. And I mean like right after the sermon! It was amazing! I was like prophesizing (propheteering?) like there is no tomorrow.<br/>Seriously, kind of reminds me those awesome action/sci-fi/kungfu movies I used to watch as a kid, and right after that you start thinking you can do the awesome kungfu moves, and shoot lasers from your eyeballs..and such..<br/>Anyone else?<br/><br/>Im way off tangent here, aren't I? Uh oh, I AM one of those people who are insta-experts at something after trying it once.
I think people are catching on to my amazing ability to thoroughly learn something after just one time experiencing it. Kind of like that one time I became a prophet after we had that awesome spiritual gifts sermon. And I mean like right after the sermon! It was amazing! I was like prophesizing (propheteering?) like there is no tomorrow.
Seriously, kind of reminds me those awesome action/sci-fi/kungfu movies I used to watch as a kid, and right after that you start thinking you can do the awesome kungfu moves, and shoot lasers from your eyeballs..and such..
Anyone else?

Im way off tangent here, aren’t I?

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/comment-page-1/#comment-5184 Anonymous Mon, 19 May 2008 19:06:00 +0000 http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/#comment-5184 "On some level I think it's because we had a good experience at counseling and want to share that with you."<br/><br/>That's exactly what it is.<br/><br/>I'm been in counseling off and on for most of my life so to me I think I could share some info. LOL. But I don't. Because most people don't want to hear it. And when you're volunteering to help someone who didn't ask and doesn't want it, you've probably caused more harm than good. I learned this the hard way from my wife. “On some level I think it’s because we had a good experience at counseling and want to share that with you.”

That’s exactly what it is.

I’m been in counseling off and on for most of my life so to me I think I could share some info. LOL. But I don’t. Because most people don’t want to hear it. And when you’re volunteering to help someone who didn’t ask and doesn’t want it, you’ve probably caused more harm than good. I learned this the hard way from my wife.

]]> By: Chris Rich http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/comment-page-1/#comment-5168 Chris Rich Mon, 19 May 2008 17:20:00 +0000 http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/#comment-5168 Your Fight Club reference was particularly timely and funny. My Bride and I just got back from a "Marriage Encounter" weekend. This a Christian marriage retreat that happens all over the country so if you have the opportunity to go I highly reccomend it. However, they're pretty secretive about the whole event leading up to it and you're not supposed to talk about the specifics of the weekend with others that want to know about it. So between session's I was constantly thinking about a "Marriage Encounter" Post for SCL comparing it to Fight Club b/c most of the interal wrestling is with your self and the first rule of "Marriage Encounter" is "Don't talk about Marriage Encounter" <br/><br/>Has anyone attended one of these weekends before and like to comment? Jon, it might be worth it for your and your Bride if you get the chance at the very least it could be material for a great post. Your Fight Club reference was particularly timely and funny. My Bride and I just got back from a “Marriage Encounter” weekend. This a Christian marriage retreat that happens all over the country so if you have the opportunity to go I highly reccomend it. However, they’re pretty secretive about the whole event leading up to it and you’re not supposed to talk about the specifics of the weekend with others that want to know about it. So between session’s I was constantly thinking about a “Marriage Encounter” Post for SCL comparing it to Fight Club b/c most of the interal wrestling is with your self and the first rule of “Marriage Encounter” is “Don’t talk about Marriage Encounter”

Has anyone attended one of these weekends before and like to comment? Jon, it might be worth it for your and your Bride if you get the chance at the very least it could be material for a great post.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/comment-page-1/#comment-5106 Anonymous Mon, 19 May 2008 01:31:00 +0000 http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2008/05/236-the-friend-that-went-to-counseling-once-and-is-now-an-expert-on-counseling-you/#comment-5106 I'm having that exact problem with a friend right now. She's an accountant who fancies herself a counselor who needs to tell you what to do, but needs no input from anyone else about her life. It's hurtful to be on the receiving end of narcissism. I’m having that exact problem with a friend right now. She’s an accountant who fancies herself a counselor who needs to tell you what to do, but needs no input from anyone else about her life. It’s hurtful to be on the receiving end of narcissism.

]]>