#216. Precious Moments

If it were socially acceptable for 32-year old suburban dads to quit their jobs and pursue careers in breakdancing I would do it. Honestly, the only reason I write is because I can’t pop n’ lock or spin on my back or do an adequate worm. I took breakin’ lessons in the fourth grade and since then I’ve been secretly doing the electric boogaloo in my heart. I am so excited about the show, “So you think you can dance” starting soon that it’s embarrassing. I completely intend to breakdance in heaven and invite you to throw down on the square of cardboard I’ll be breakin on. But according to the fine folks at Precious Moments, I won’t be dancing in heaven.

Instead, I can expect to be a chubby little angel with a short bathrobe and a halo and feathered hair. And apparently I’ll have a satchel of flowers that I deliver to other angels. Ugh. That sounds really boring. I want to do the robot in heaven and ride dirt bikes and have firework fights with CS Lewis. What, you’ve never thought it would be cool to shoot a Roman Candle at CS Lewis?

A few folks have asked if I’ll ever make SCL t-shirts with phrases like “It’s time to get my yolk on” or “I’m never beardronneous.” Maybe, but I think it would be funnier to do a partnership with Precious Moments. To get them to make me my own version of the angel. I wonder what he would look like?