#199. Refusing to take compliments.

A few months ago my company had an end of the year holiday party and gave out awards for performance. After the ceremony, my friend Mark said to me, “Tell me the truth, did you believe that you were going to win every one of those awards?” I told him, “Yes, yes I did.” Even the ones where the presenter would say, “This lady has a drive that is almost as fiery as her red hair” I thought he was talking about me. “Hey, in the right light maybe my hair looks kind of reddish and the lady comment could just be a joke,” I thought to myself.

I think that way because I’m a narcissistic jerk most days, but the truth is that I hate compliments. I can’t take them. The minute someone says something nice about me I discount it. I say things like, “Oh that was nothing. Anyone could have done that.” Or, like many Christians, I say something holy sounding like, “It was all God. To Him be the glory.”

Why are compliments the Christian version of kryptonite? What makes us so uncomfortable? My dad told me a story about a minister complimenting a girl after she sang a song. She blushed and rejected his words by saying, “That was not me, that was all God.” He responded by saying something like, “I said it was a good song, I didn’t think it was heavenly though. No offense, but I think God would have hit that high note.”

I completely think that pride is one of our greatest enemies and I constantly have to be on guard for it. That’s why I’ve started going back to counseling. It’s so easy to get intoxicated on compliments. And I’ve seen lots of young pastors crumble under the weight of positive feedback when their churches blow up with attendance. But from this moment forward, if I give you a compliment and you tell me, “God did that, not me,” please know that I am going to reply , “Nah, that was you. He would have done a much better job.”

(Thanks to Brian for this idea)