Comments on: The Double Sermon (4 warning signs)

By: Alleycat

Alleycat — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 23:27:47 +0000

**cough cough** Joel Osteen **cough cough ahem**

By: Alleycat

Alleycat — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 23:24:29 +0000

OOOOO, I HATE those “fill in the blank” notes. “Blessed are the _____, for they shall inherit the ______.” Sometimes I fill them in in advance just for fun.

By: chloe

chloe — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 03:39:53 +0000

hahaha my pastor does that sometimes too!

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 05:30:41 +0000

Ack, my parents’ pastor does 1, 2, and 3 every single Sunday.

By: Michel

Michel — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 02:47:17 +0000

My pastor has 3 phrases that let you know there’s another 15 minutes ahead. “I need to close” – but I won’t; “I know the dead chicken’s in your oven, but we’re offering burnt sacrifices once again!”; and “Just, just, just *one* last thing. Whenever we hear that there’s a collective groan… in our minds, of course. If you speak up there’s another 5 minutes.

By: @tabitha_sue

@tabitha_sue — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 19:46:51 +0000

Sunday night sermons at my home church (Southern Baptist) were known for this. Much more relaxed atmosphere, but there was no lunch grumble going on, and double sermons happened a least once a month. Once in high school, one of the older ladies in the church held a sign up for the pastor that literally read "LAND THE PLANE". We just about died… but when you're that old, I guess you could get away with things like that.

By: hannah

hannah — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 02:44:09 +0000

burn! thats so true.

By: Other Kim

Other Kim — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 16:30:29 +0000

Forgive me, but "that's what she said". I don't think that advice applies to just preaching.

By: Julie

Julie — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 19:42:47 +0000

Erin K, you took me back to my jr. high/high school days as a Sunday School teacher's assistant of itty bitty kids. We had a 3-hour service from 9am to noon most Sundays, with the kids sent off to Sunday School during the sermon. During one memorable period, the pastor started preaching more like a two hour sermon instead of the usual one hour. Finally, the Sunday School teachers just made a pact to take the kids back into the sanctuary at noon, whether church was over or not. We trooped them all in and lined them up in the back of the sanctuary, and the sermons started shortening up.

And then in youth group (at a different church) we had a skit that touched on the same topic…all the players pretended to be in church, except instead of dialog, we just said what we were doing. We shook eachother's hands and said, "Greeting, greeting" and sang "Sing, sing, sing" to the tune of Amazing Grace or the Doxology, and then the person playing the pastor got up and preached, and that was where we really shone. "Introduction, introduction, introduction. Preach…preach preach In closing, in closing, PREACH, preach preach, and finally, preach preach." My brother was a great preacher. He could spin it out with quite a few different "closing" variations. I'm thinking the point of the skit was something about how we treat visitors…sadly, I don't remember.

By: middlenamegrace

middlenamegrace — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 05:29:05 +0000

I grew up in a church where a LONG sermon was 25 minutes. In fact, my entire wedding was about 25 minutes and we had a bunch of music, plus my dad (also my pastor) cried for about 5 minutes.
My pastor now is pretty good about staying on point and not rambling, but when he is gone the retired pastor from our church often preaches. And I often volunteer to keep the nursery or work in children's church. He preaches about 6 sermons, all of which are too long and not well-organized. I can hardly bear to listen. Because my dad was an excellent teaching pastor, who still kept it short and never boring, I'm a sermon snob. But don't judge me, so is everyone else, they're just not saying it.