I’m pretty sure that somewhere in the Old Testament, perhaps in the book of Joel, God says that he does not like bikinis. I mean sure, Jesus hung out with hookers and the lowest of the low, but that was then. These days, the trinity hates bikinis. Enter the tankini. The tankini is kind of what would happen if you cut a one piece in half. It’s a tank top on top and a regular bathing suit on the bottom. It’s less Victoria’s Secret and more Land’s End. It was originally created in a church laboratory for youth group trips to the beach. OK, I don’t know that for certain. What I do know is that neither of my daughters will be wearing one. Instead they are going to be in snowsuits most of their life. Their nicknames at school will be “girls that wear so many clothes.” But that’s just me, I’m weird.
(Special thanks to Martha for the tankini idea.)