Comments on: Getting a precise defintion of "virgin" from your youth minister.

By: Madi

Madi — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 23:42:00 +0000

I’m fifteen, and this is always one of the most emphasized topics in my youth group. That being said, we ask a whole lot of questions and in return, get the same few unclear answers. We recently discussed where “the line” is between virgin and and not-so-virgin. However, no one ever gave us a clear cut answer. We heard “Think about how you want to present yourslef to your spouce on your wedding night,” but no one could clearly say “Hey, this is what you can do, and this is what you can’t.” I think that by giving students these hazy answers, you’re really just giving them loopholes. I’ve talked to friends who’ve tiptoed over that line, and they use the excuse “No one ever said I couldn’t do that, they just said no sex.” Giving blurry answers just means teens are going to do it anyway, and then give blurry excuses. I understand trying to lighten it up by using the “no illeagal immigration” or “if it gets up, you get up” sayings, but just once, I’d like to hear an adult clearly define where the line is.

By: Mackenzie

Mackenzie — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 17:42:16 +0000

Maybe they just read 1 Corinthians 7:9 a few too many times. “But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

By: L

Fri, 29 Apr 2011 07:47:53 +0000

This is probably one of the best reasons. Getting over an intended spouse’s sexual past is a very painful process for many.
Unfortunately, most horny young people are probably not very concerned about some other person’s future spouse. More likely, they think the person they’re with now IS their own future spouse.
I think this is a great idea to emphasize, and it is important, but we also need something less abstract.

By: L

Fri, 29 Apr 2011 07:36:40 +0000

Besides, if they are both first-timers, they won’t have to deal with “germs”! Don’t give them loopholes…

By: Jessica

Jessica — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 03:11:26 +0000

This (motion from chin up) is Canada.
This (motion from knees down) is Mexico.
No illegal immigration.

Helpful for teens needing black and white guidelines.

By: C

Tue, 23 Nov 2010 18:01:11 +0000

I agree. I really wish that there would be a little more discussion about this “grey area” between hand holding and full out sex. All I ever heard was “Just don’t have sex.” Um, great advice but that’s not all that practical when you’re actually in a relationship.

By: Kimberly

Kimberly — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 11:25:24 +0000

Germs? Seriously?! The last thing sheltered Christian girls need to hear is to associate sex with germs or in any way being gross or disgusting. They need to be told that sex, within marriage, is amazing and wonderful and normal. What happens to the girl that meets the boy 'with the past' who is now a devout God-fearing Christian. How much counseling will she need before her honeymoon to try and have sex with her sex-germ-infested husband? Yes, it's true that when you have sex with someone you are sleeping with every person they slept with and so on and so on. But pulling the 'scare the hell out of them' card rarely works and usually backfires. Don't lay down is cute but won't accomplish much. We need to get real, blunt and honest with our kids and teens. They're not dumb.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 00:01:46 +0000

If you get wet, you'd better jet.
Just made that up off the top of my head & it rhymes!

By: MissTree

MissTree — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 16:14:23 +0000

Great advice for chaps. But what about us ladies?

By: Amber Leigh

Amber Leigh — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 17:10:07 +0000

The youth minister that I interned under in Tulsa once did a complete exegesis of some passage…I can't remember which one…and drew all of these diagrams up on a white board and in the end he "proved" that you shouldn't french kiss anyone or anything beyond that…because the Bible says so. I'm not sure that I agree, but I wish I had taken better notes on it for future reference.

I always loved the once-a-year sexual purity unit that the junior high Bible studies did. Nothing like taking a group of 13-15 year old girls to Starbucks and have one of them ask (loud enough for everyone in the store to hear), "Okay, this may be a dumb question, but… What is masturbation?"