How to get your spouse to support your dream.

The last place you want to put a spouse is on the opposite of your dream. The harder you lean into the dream the further you push them away. You start to say things like, “Why don’t you want my dream to happen? Why aren’t you supporting the thing I feel called to?” Things get real gross, real quick.

So what’s one simple way to get your spouse to support your dream?

Make action payments.

Words are so cheap when it comes to dreaming. You can fill up the ocean with your ideas and your what ifs and your words. Thoughts about what you’re going to do or what will be different this time eventually become useless to a spouse who has heard it all before. But as we’ve known all along, actions speak louder than words.

Want to get your spouse to support you?

Get up 30 minutes before the rest of the house wakes up and work on your dream.

Turn off the TV and read 20 pages of a book instead by an expert in the field you’re pursuing.

Take a second job to help pay for the startup money your dream might take instead of draining your savings account.

Make action payments.

Actions tells your spouse you’re serious. Consistent, focused action tends to crack even the hardest, least supportive heart. Sacrifices prove commitment. And they have to be sacrifices you pay for yourself. Cancelling a date night with your spouse so you can work on your dream does not prove you’re serious about your dream. It proves you’re selfish.

This simple idea is one of the biggest reasons my wife Jenny was able to jump on board with the move to Nashville from Atlanta. She had a history of my actions that told her I was dedicated to making this work. After years of me babbling about my dreams and my plans, she could actually see progress.

Writing books, speaking, joining the Dave Ramsey team. These weren’t more flimsy dream ideas like so many others I’ve exhausted her with in the past. This dream was real and she had months and years of actions that reassured her.

You need your spouse. Dreaming is a team sport. So in addition to supporting his or her dream, to win support, make action payments.