A few months ago I had breakfast with my friend Chris. I told him about a tweet up I held in Oklahoma City. Here is our conversation:

Chris:
How did the tweet up go? Did you have a lot of people there?

Me:
We had 60, but I would have been happy with 10!

Chris:
Really? Would you have been happy with 10?

Me:
No. I wanted 100.

Did you see what happened there? I tried to woo Chris with some false humility. “I would have been happy with 10!” What a lie that is. I would have returned to the hotel in Oklahoma City severely disappointed and discouraged. But Chris wasn’t having it, so what did he do? He called me on my false humility, which is really the worst type of arrogance there is.

Why?

Because you never really get to deal with it when you hide it that way. If I was honest, here’s how the conversation would have gone:

Chris:
How did the tweet up go? Did you have a lot of people there?

Me:
We had 60, but I was really hoping for 100!

Chris:
Really? That would have been great, but is that realistic? This is your very first tweetup and we’re talking about getting people to cancel their plans on a Friday night and come hang out with a guy they’ve only “known” virtually so far.

Me:
I guess it wasn’t exactly realistic, considering I’ve never done one before.

Chris:
Are there some ways you think you could increase attendance next time?

And so forth. Now the whole thing is different. Instead of a performance, I’m having a conversation. Instead of putting on a show about how humble I am, I’m able to learn from the experience and grow and improve.

But not if I front.

Not if I lie.

Not if I dress up my arrogance with false humility.

Be honest. Be direct and be willing to let someone ask you questions you might not want to answer at first. Sometimes a good friend is the only way to recognize the cloak of false humility.

Question:
Have you ever struggled with false humility?