Quitter

#3 in 2012: Why do friends attack your dream?

Quitter December 26, 2012 • Comments

One of the strangest things that happens when you start hustling on your dream is the reaction you often get from friends.

People who you’ve known for years.

People who love you.

People who you were certain would support you, suddenly do just the opposite.

They criticize you, they attack you, they chip away at the progress you’ve made and discourage you at every step. This is not surprising to some of you.

For years, we’ve all heard the cliché, “the greatest insult a crab can commit against the other crabs in the bucket is to try to climb out.” Every crab immediately pulls their hopeful compatriot back into the bucket. But that’s “what” happens. Let’s talk about “why” it happens.

Why do friends attack your dreams?

Because we all go deaf sometimes.

I have a friend whose family doesn’t talk about Santa with his kids. That is exactly what he told me last December. His direct quote was “Our family chooses not to talk about Santa with our kids.”

Do you know what I heard?

“The Acuff family loves Jesus less than we do because you talk about Santa. Why do you guys hate sweet baby Jesus so much? You know where you can hide the Elf on the Shelf? In hades, where you’ll end up.”

Another friend home schools his kids. He told me, “We feel like homeschooling is the best option for our family.” Do you know what I heard?

“You’re a bad parent for sending your kids to public school. If you really loved your kids you’d home school them too.”

My younger brother Will is a vegetarian. When he first became one, he told me “I’m becoming a vegetarian. I’m going to stop eating meat.” Do you know what I heard?

“You’re dumb for eating meat. Only stupid people eat meat. Jerky is for jerks.”

Over and over again, what people say, isn’t really what I hear. I add all these other sentences to their words that are entirely untrue.

And the same exact thing happens when you start hustling on your dream. When you tell some friends, “I’m going to write a book. I’ve been getting up early to work on that dream of mine,” do you know what they hear?

“You’re not working on your dream. If you were smart or passionate about life you’d be working on a dream too. You’re failing right now.”

Sounds crazy, right?

It’s not. I promise this happens all the time. Your kindest friends turn into your greatest foes not because of something you said, but because of something they heard.

So what should you do when it happens to you? Give your friends grace and ask them what they heard versus what you said. If you’re honest and they’re honest too, this can actually be a chance for a friendship to deepen not weaken.

And above all, keep hustling. Never ignore wise counsel, but if the criticism is born from envy, jealousy or hurt, that’s not wise counsel. That’s one crab trying to drag the other one back in the bucket.

And nobody wants to stay in a bucket all their life.

Question:
Has a friend ever criticized your dream?

#4 in 2012: Miley Cyrus was wrong.

Quitter December 25, 2012 • Comments

It’s not just the climb.

It’s the grind.

It’s the getting up while other people are sleeping.

It’s the checking your blog 100 times a day and realizing there’s not a single comment. And then writing again tomorrow. And the day after that.

It’s the walking by your TV and not letting it suck you in to find out who got the rose.

It’s the ignoring what you’d like to do because what you’d love to do needs your time.

It’s sucker punching Monday morning and starting your day before fear has a chance to find you.

It’s the swallowing your pride and playing the concert to nobody but the waitress.

It’s the filling out all the annoying paperwork it takes to turn your dream into a business.

It’s the 12,000 tweets.

It’s the asking people for help even though you’d like to pretend you’re too strong to need it.

It’s the realization that the scale isn’t your boss, it’s a tool. And if you didn’t hit your weight goal today, you’ll get back on the bike, back on the run, back on the steps, and hit it tomorrow.

It’s losing the client, losing the job, losing the opportunity, and realizing you didn’t lose your identity.

It’s getting back up.

It’s the 4 AM alarm clock to catch a shuttle to the airport.

It’s the measuring your success against your own actions, not the accomplishments of others.

It’s the remembering that hard work still beats 100% of the shortcuts everyone else thinks social media offers.

It’s the being willing to fail.

And fail.

And fail.

And fail.

And get better. Slower than you’d like. In increments smaller than you’d like, but better is better.

It’s the not being ashamed of your success or apologizing for the wins, but having the courage to celebrate them without stumbling into the land of arrogance.

It’s starting all over again every time the sun does.

Is it just the climb?

No. If you want to change your life and the world, it’s the grind.

Keep grinding.

#5 in 2012: How to be a rockstar.

Quitter December 24, 2012 • Comments

It’s easy. Here’s all it takes.

Spend more time practicing your dream than you do promoting your dream.

That’s it.

The Internet has made it ridiculously easy to promote your dream, your craft, your passion, your whatever. As someone who writes books and throws events, that is awesome. But that ease comes with a consequence.

The temptation is to spend more time on promoting what you’re doing instead of practicing what you’re doing. Honing your skills, putting in the hours to improve, working hard while no one is watching. Promoting makes people think you’re great. Practicing actually makes you great. There’s a huge difference between those two things.

Want to stand out from the clutter of social media and be a rock star?

Spend 10 hours practicing your dream for every 1 hour you spend promoting it.

Want to be a rock star even faster? Make that ratio 100 to 1.

If I’m being honest, I haven’t yet. I fall into the promotion vs. practice trap all the time. But the times when I focus on practice, I end up doing work that is vital, not just viral, and that matters more to me and probably you too.

Question:
What are some ways you “practice” your dream?

3 things that change everything.

Quitter December 21, 2012 • Comments

This is the best time in the last 100 years to change your life and the world.

Why?

Three forces of nature have collided to create a once in a century storm even bigger than the one Patrick Swayze surfed at the end of Point Break. (Google it).

Keep Reading —›

3 things my family is going to do in 2013.

Quitter December 20, 2012 • Comments

Tis’s the season for goals, resolutions and “I swear this year I’m going to really do it!”

In the midst of that, I found a sign that summarizes how the Acuff family will be approaching the year.

It’s simple, challenging, and above all infused with the missing ingredient most people leave out of their goals.

Here’s how the Acuff house will be living in 2013. Or rather, here’s what we’ll “do.”

Source: etsy.com via Jon on Pinterest

 

 

The danger of doing something new.

Quitter December 17, 2012 • Comments

Someday, you will do something new.

And someone will tell you, “That’s not how it’s done.”

Then they will show you the well worn path toward whatever it is you’re attempting.

And you will have a choice.

You can follow the masses and then be shocked that you ended up in the same place as everyone else.

Or you can shock everyone else and forge your own path.

Choose carefully.

The first path gets you a boring business card that is printed on the same paper, with the same fonts and the same information business cards have always had. That’s how it is done.

The second path? Well that one gets you the kind of card this massage therapist created:

Source: Uploaded by user via Jon on Pinterest

 

Time to get your hands dirty.

Quitter December 14, 2012 • Comments

If dreams were easy, they wouldn’t call them dreams.

They’d call them naps.

In 2013, commit to getting your hands dirty on your dream in at least 3 new ways.

What will your ways be?

 

via Jon on Pinterest

Action always beats intention.

Quitter December 12, 2012 • Comments

One of the ideas I talk about in my new book, which comes out this spring, is that “action always beats intention.”

I spent 30 years doing a lot of talking about my dream but very little doing.

It took me a long time to learn that dreamers are a dime a dozen. The world is lousy with dreamers. Doers? They’re rare. They’re the ones who actually change the world.

Keep Reading —›