17 things no one is saying about you on Twitter.

I tweet. A lot. (You can follow me @jonacuff.) And I’ve noticed something about Twitter viruses recently.

We all know how Twitter viruses work.

A spammer sends you a direct message (The Twitter version of an email.) In the message is a link. When you click on the link, it takes you to a page that looks like the login page to Twitter. You login with your name and password at which point the spammer has control of your account. They then proceed to send a direct message to each of your friends as if they were you. (You can only DM people who follow you.)

The most successful Twitter viruses try to claim that someone is spreading horrible rumors about you. In a moment of panic you click the link, give up your password, and the virus has won.

You think it won’t happen to you, but it happened to 17 of my friends on Twitter. So to make sure you don’t get tricked, here are the statements that fooled them. If you see one of these in a direct message, do not click the link.

17 things no one is saying about you on Twitter:

1. Hey, someone is spreading nasty rumors about you.

2. Hey, someone is spreading terrible rumors about you.

3. Ur famouse now.

(In this variety they try to scare you that there’s a video of you online somewhere. I personally like that this one sounds you like became a famous mouse.)

4. Whatt are you doing in this?

5. You ar famous now haha

6. Lol I cant believe ur in this video

7. I bet you don’t remember this eh?

8. They got u on facebook

9. How did you not see them tapping you?

(I think they mean “taping” but maybe that’s not a typo and this is about a video of someone tapping me on the shoulder a bunch of times and me not noticing.)

10. Nude photos of Justin Bieber leaked after his laptop was stolen!

(This is not actually a statement about you, but it’s the worst. This one is embarrassing because it means one of your friends thought that was true and clicked on the link to see the photos.)

11. there’s some absurd rumors going around about you, here’s the user that started it

12. wat r u doing with him in this video? ROFL

13. I bet you can’t remember this lol

14. Some really absurd claims that mention you are sufficing on twitter, I found several tweets here’s an example.

(Suffice it to say, I am horrified to hear that.)

15. Some really ludicrous accusations that mention you are sufficing on twitter, I found several posts here’s an example.

(They used to be absurd, now they’re ludicrous! This is getting out of control.)

16. You seen what this person is saying about you?

17. It’s you on this photo?

Again, these aren’t hypothetical viruses. These are 17 statements that Twitter friends of mine fell for.

Don’t make the same mistake.

Don’t click the link.

No one is talking about you.

I promise.